How to “Make a Difference” in 2021

Of those who make a New Year’s resolution, after 1 week 75% are still successful in keeping it. After two weeks, the number drops to 71%. After 1 month, the number drops again to 64%. And after 6 months, 46% of people who make a resolution are still successful in keeping it. In comparison, of those people who have similar goals but do not set a resolution, only 4% are still successful after 6 months.

New Year’s Resolutions Statistics (Updated 2020) from Discover Happy Habits

Although we may be seeing the first signs of “the light at the end of the tunnel” with the distribution of the vaccines, coronavirus still has its grip on us… off-the-chart infection rates, record-breaking hospital admissions, schedule disruptions, restrictions on restaurants and small businesses, mandatory mask wearing, social distancing, precautionary self-isolation, etc. By all accounts, mindfulness, self-care, patience, and a positive outlook for the future are keys to making personal and professional goals as the pandemic rages on…

This article spotlights an age-old but usually neglected perspective – “think first” before you formulate any New Year’s Resolutions! For this to really work, you need a little research and reflection… and then COMMIT TO YOUR GOALS! Read on!

Start Out by Being S.M.A.R.T.

Admittedly, 44+ years in teaching has affected how I view goal-setting – “make it intention!” Adopt the often published S.M.A.R.T. approach to any plan. Make goals that are…

• Specific
• Measurable
• Achievable
• Relevant
• Time-Bound

What goals do you want to satisfy in 2021? “Keep it simple” and S.M.A.R.T. Like lesson plans, write your resolution(s) in behavioral terms… “by the end of this class, the students will…” For example, the easiest way to limit the intake of fried food in your diet is to write on a post-it note, “I will not eat anything fried this week” and place it on your bathroom mirror.

A lot of these resolutions fail because they’re not the right resolutions. And a resolution may be wrong for one of three main reasons: 1) It’s a resolution created based on what someone else (or society) is telling you to change. 2) It’s too vague. 3) You don’t have a realistic plan for achieving your resolution.

How to Make and Keep a New Year’s Resolution by Jen A. Miller (New York Times)

Review the Usual Ones…

According to Brad Zomick in his GoSkills blog, these are the most common New Year’s Resolutions:

• Exercise more
• Lose weight
• Get organized
• Learn a new skill or hobby 
• Live life to the fullest
• Save more money / spend less money
• Quit smoking
• Spend more time with family and friends
• Travel more
• Read more

Just as important to WHAT you choose is HOW you approach it. In his article, Zomick provides a “how-to” roadmap to success, if you follow his steps:

1. Mentally prepare for change.
2. Set a goal that motivates you.
3. Limit resolutions to a manageable amount.
4. Be specific.
5. Break up big goals into smaller goals.
6. Write down your goals.
7. Share your resolutions with others.
8. Automate when possible.
9. Review your resolution regularly.
10. If you fall off track, get back on quick.

Do these recommendations sound familiar? They should if you are a disciple of the aforementioned S.M.A.R.T plan. Also, the concept of “writing down your goals” should ring a bell if you recall the supposed 1979 Harvard Business School MBA Study on Goal Setting (urban legend?) reviewed by Wanderlust Worker here:

Have you set written goals and created a plan for their attainment? Prior to graduation, it was determined that 84% of the entire class had set no goals at all. 13% of the class had set written goals but had no concrete plans. 3% of the class had both written goals and concrete plans. The results? Well, you’ve likely somewhat guessed it. 10 years later, the 13% of the class that had set written goals but had not created plans, were making twice as much money as the 84% of the class that had set no goals at all. However, the apparent kicker is that the 3% of the class that had both written goals and a plan, were making ten times as much as the rest of the 97% of the class. 

The Harvard MBA Study on Goal Setting from Wanderlust Worker

Whether the Harvard (or Yale) study is fact or faction is probably irrelevant. The point here is that to improve the odds for accomplishing our goals, we need to take the time to write them down, announce our intentions (your spouse or significant-other), and define the details with “action plans.”

The Glass Is Half Full

Have you heard the joke about the identical twins, one an optimist and the other a pessimist?

A psychiatrist has one son who is a total pessimist, and another who is a complete optimist.  He decides on an experiment.  For Christmas he fills the pessimist’s room with hundreds of beautifully wrapped gifts, and dumps a heap of horse manure in the optimist’s room. On Christmas morning he sees the pessimist boy sitting motionless at the center of his room, eyeing his gifts suspiciously. But over in the optimist’s room he sees his boy filled with joy, digging happily in the odorous pile. He asks the kid what he’s doing and he answers:  “Daddy, with all this horse dung, there’s gotta be a pony in here someplace.”

The Center for Optimism

It’s time to cheer-up, look to the future, and embrace HOPE for tomorrow!

Are you kidding? You want me to “put on a happy face” after all the pandemic has done? YES!

One remedy for “losing the blue funk” is to reject all “blame and complain” speech or behavior! It is so easy to get caught up in negativity… family adversity or “challenges” of a medical or employment nature, or simply being forced to remain distant from each other, daily news media reports about COVID-19, political dissension and the polarization of viewpoints, angry rants on social media, etc. literally fanning the flames of an unprecedented perpetual global “bad mood!” I even found myself in the throes of periodic bouts of public distemper, griping on Facebook about a Dial for Men product that made my hair dry (my FB friends responded, “Thanks for the heads-up” – ha, ha!), or grumbling about the roll-out of new revisions of WordPress and Constant Contact program editors that are not backwards-compatible nor fail to support the “look and feel” of previous versions. The effect of exposure to or expression of all of these “B” words (badmouth, beef, bellyache, bemoan, bicker, b*tch) is to make you even more bitter… not fostering the “can-do’s” for taking steps towards helping others, self-renewal, or an optimistic attitude.

Do you find your emotions swinging rapidly from sadness to elation to anger or fear during the lockdown? If your mood is all over the place at the moment, that’s completely understandable. This is not a normal situation. It’s a hugely disruptive, sudden change to our daily lives that nobody was prepared for. It isn’t surprising that many people are experiencing unpredictable moods. “It is going to affect everyone’s mood in many, and sometimes unexpected, ways,” reveals psychotherapist Mark Bailey. “Whether it’s worry, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, discombobulated, angry and even perhaps unexpected emotions like relief as we accept some of our current situation, it’s useful to know that as we experience one emotion it doesn’t nullify or negate another.”

COVID-19: How to Manage Mood Swings... by Natalie Healey

Get Inspired by Good Role Models and “Positive Gurus”

Many music educators attend the keynote addresses at state MEA/NAfME conferences to “recharge their batteries.” A few of my favorite “master motivators” are Tim Lautzenheiser, Peter Boonshaft, and Fran Kick. As a sample, check out this video (sponsored by MusicFirst) that featured “Dr. Tim” – One Person Can Make a Difference!

Who can have a positive influence on us or serve as a “catalyst for change” to help us realize our resolutions? Practically anyone! I bumped into this provocative article by Professor Dr Ger Graus: Good Role Models – How Has COVID-19 Changed Pupils’ Career Aspirations? He relates these criteria “to elevate a person or profession to role model status” (at least in the eyes of a child) – possibly an excellent framework for creating your plan.

1. Demonstrate passion for what you do and have the capacity to infect others with it.
2. Show a clear set of values and live them in their world. Lead by example. Children admire people who act in ways that support their beliefs. It helps them understand how their own values are part of who they are and how they might seek fulfilling roles as adults.
3. Demonstrate commitment to community. Be others-focused as opposed to self-focused. Freely give your time and talents to benefit people.
4. Show selflessness and acceptance of others who are different to you. Be fair.
5. Demonstrate the ability to overcome obstacles. Young people admire those who show them that success is possible.

Someone who has recently become inspirational to me is the wonderfully uplifting Lesley Moffat, probably an expert on the search for “mindfulness” in personal life and even during her band warmups. In my opinion, her transformative stories provide the blueprint for happiness and wellbeing! She now has two published books (you need to read both) – I Love My Job But It’s Killing Me, and Love the Job, Lose the Stress, and if you are still teaching music full-time, you need to peruse her website: https://mpowerededucator.com/. For a good laugh, view her recent “rap” – Moffat’s HamJam for Band – for which she performed for her music students.

Apply the concepts of social and emotional learning (SEL), EMPATHY, and “corona kindness” to yourself and loved-ones! Seek out advice from a few of these experts: Manju Durairaj, Scott N. Edgar, Bob Morrison, and Edward Varner.

Social and emotional learning (SEL) is the process through which children and adults acquire and effectively apply the knowledge, attitudes, and skills necessary to understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions. The key components of SEL are self-awareness, social awareness, responsible decision-making, self-management, and relationship skills.

Finding Sanctuary – Social and Emotional Learning and Visual and Performing Arts by Edward Varner

Sum it Up – Fox’s “Top-Ten Tips”

1. Renew your efforts to intentionally reach-out, connect, and engage with people, albeit virtually for now.
2. Focus on the things you can control.
3. Remind yourself about the good things in your life and your personal resilience.
4. Start small and change one behavior at a time.
5. Don’t beat yourself up when things get a little rocky
6. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
7. Seek creative new ways to reduce your stress.
8. Exercise, meditate, go outside, and plan better meals.
9. Share your experiences with family and friends.
10. Implement one or two S.M.A.R.T. goals and embrace the “spirit” of self-improvement.

It’s easy to become an idealist when the new year rolls around, but it’s important to remember that New Year’s resolutions are ultimately a tool to help you grow into the person you want to be. Take some time this New Year’s Eve to really consider who you want to be in the future, and then employ S.M.A.R.T. goals to help you fulfill your vision. Making a resolution to live your life with purpose and passion is a beautiful and exciting thing, not something to dread.

How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions by Using S.M.A.R.T. Goals by Mary McCoy

PKF

© 2020 Paul K. Fox

Resources

• Acts of Kindness During the Coronavirus by the Mental Health Foundation
• Fifty New Year’s Resolution Ideas for a Fulfilling 2021 by Michelle Guerrere
• Finding Sanctuary-Social and Emotional Learning and Visual and Performing Arts by Edward Varner
• How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions by Using S.M.A.R.T. Goals by Mary McCoy
• How to Make and Keep a New Year’s Resolution by Jen A. Miller
• Making Your New Year’s Resolutions Stick from the American Psychological Association
• New Year’s Resolutions During a Pandemic by Lauren Harrison
• New Year’s Resolutions Statistics from Discover Happy Habits
• Nine Ways to Stay Positive During the Pandemic by Sheila Birnbaum
• Random Acts and Other Resolutions by Paul Fox
• Resolutions for Retirees by Paul Fox
• SMART Goals – How to Make Them Achievable by Mindtools
• This Is Why Most New Year’s Resolutions Fail by Amy Morin
• The Top 10 Most Common New Year’s Resolutions… by Brad Zomick
• Top 10 Organizing Tips for 2019 by Paul Fox

Credits:

iStock.com photos (in order): “2021” #1280953227 by phototechno, “SMART Goals” #1134658098 by BrianAJackson, “New Years Goals List 2021” #1266648329 by Olena Sakhnenko, “Half Empty to Half Full” #1128990168 by Fokusiert, “Lead by Example” #849367144 by Michail_Petrov-96, and “2021 Happy New Year” #1273431483 by Weedezign

“Happy Face” VectorStock.com/467693