In Defense of Dogs

Pet Ownership in Retirement

Part 5 of a series of articles featuring the “Foxes-and-Hounds” pack

I’m writing this blog at 3:30 in the morning because Brewster decided he needed to go out… three hours earlier than usual! Now, in lieu of struggling to go back to sleep, I decided to sit down behind my computer with one sleeping dog in my lap and reflect on my thoughts why I feel so lucky to have my two “pups!”

Like grandparents “bragging” about their extended family, dog owners have no compunction to stop and talk to perfect strangers and share their photographs and stories of their pets… especially the wonderful (and sometimes quirky) personality characteristics of their dogs! So, shamelessly, it’s my turn! Here are my two “love and joys” who joined our household literally months after I retired from full-time school music teaching in 2013. Get ready to smile… (and with my best marching band announcer’s voice): “We proudly present ‘Gracie’ (a female Bichon Frise) and ‘Brewster’ (a male Yorkiepoo, Yorkshire Terrier/Poodle mix).”

My wife and I would recommend to all retirees who are not planning to travel out-of-town a lot and are no longer facing that grueling 8-12 hour daily regiment of work (or volunteering) to consider caring for a dog. We knew we were going to take advantage of our major “life style” change when we left our careers… it was just a matter of what dog or dogs to pick… or which ones would pick us!

We went to a local outlet of a national pet store chain just to waste time “looking at the cute doggie beds and toys,” never expecting that they would actually sell puppies in cages from behind the glass! (Most experts would agree that to avoid the promotion of “puppy mills” and the dangers of acquiring unhealthy animals, you should only buy from a reputable breeder. But, this was an accident!) After determining there were no cat adoptions in the store (my wife is very allergic to their fur/dander), we walked in to view on the wall an amazing array of the most adorable four-legged furry companions begging for our attention. As we sat in the area designated as “pet introduction booths,” we sampled many young pups. Gracie picked my wife, and Brewster picked me – the rest is history!

Do individual dogs or breeds have personalities?

Brewster

According to the American Kennel Club and other sources, these specific characteristics are common. First, for Brewster:

“The Yorkiepoo is a high-energy, happy dog who’s often enthused about life. They thrive off attention and love to keep their family entertained and be the star of the show.”

“They love to play, and will be happy to take part in a quick game of fetch — but that will almost always be followed up with a desire for a cuddle (and maybe a nap on the couch).”

“Yorkiepoos quickly attach to their family, and will happily spend the day following their ‘people’ around the home. Their families are not the only people that Yorkiepoos like—they’re happy to see anyone, and will greet both friends and strangers with the same enthusiasm.”

“If you’re willing to play a lot with your pet, a Yorkiepoo is a great match.”

The Yorkiepoo Dog Profile by Whitney Coy (Rover.com)

Now, here are the tendencies for a Brichon Frise, our “Gracie,” minus the formal (fluffy) “show cut” that some purebred enthusiasts ask from their groomers.

Gracie

“Bichons are adaptable companions who get on well with other dogs and children. Alert and curious, Bichons make nice little watchdogs—but they are lovers, not fighters, and operate under the assumption that there are no strangers, just friends they haven’t met yet. Their confidence and size make them ideal city dogs. Bichons train nicely and enjoy performing for their loved ones. Finally, there’s the happy-go-lucky Bichon personality that draws smiles and hugs wherever they go.”

American Kennel Club

The American Kennel Club offers a lot of insight to help you match the dog breed to your own pet-ownership experience and life style. If you are thinking of rescuing or purchasing a new pet (especially if this is your first time), we recommend reviewing their dog breed selection site.

What about dog personalities?

Surfing the ‘Net, I came upon an intriguing but seemingly inactive set of websites (nonworking phone number, email address, and contact form) that propose to “analyze” dogs into these categories:

  • left brain introvert – “sofa spud”
  • right brain introvert – “status seeker”
  • left brain extrovert – “socialite”
  • right brain extrovert – “nervous nelly”

According to the mystery bloggers at (two different spellings) doganality.net and dogenlity.com, dog energy levels are critical to your pet selection.

“A dog’s energy level is a crucial component of its overall ‘Dogenality.’ Coupling their behavior with a form of temperament gives you a better idea of who your dog is, what it is that drives them, and how you should go about forming a relationship with them that will be mutually beneficial.”

https://dogenality.com/new-energy-levels/

They offer a free-trial “dogenality” assessment and even canine DNA testing. Watch Angie Wood’s video here and even peruse their other informative blogs here (posted in 2018):

  • Fear’s Effect on Dogs
  • Dog Psychology vs. Human Psychology
  • Does Your Dog Get Enough Exercise
  • Bringing Home a New Dog
  • Laser Pointer Syndrome in Dogs
  • Why Some Dogs Are Afraid of Men
  • Seasonal Dog Allergies
  • A Dog’s Work vs. Vacation
Brewster during COVID-19 “red phase” before pet grooming resumed.

In keeping with the paulfox.blog philosophy to research sources for further study, here are more (probably more current) sites to explore:

“Dogs come in all different shapes, sizes, and personalities. That’s part of why we love them. But it can be easy to fall into the trap of seeing your dog not as what they are, but as you wish they could be, and treating them accordingly. When we assume our dogs enjoy something just because they are dogs, we not only do them a disservice and set them up for failure, we set ourselves up for frustration when they fail to live up to our expectations.”

“All dogs, regardless of their breeding, are individuals. It’s essential to look beyond your dog’s breed to try to understand the traits that make up their personality. The better you know your dog, the fewer misunderstandings you’ll have in the future. As a professional dog trainer, I convey this message constantly to my clients.”

Dog Personalities from A to Z: Which One is Your Pup? by Shoshi Parks

The happy hysteria of day-to-day doggie life!

Can we go out for a walk?

As a dog owner, you expect to live many moments of basic insanity:

  • It takes years of experience for you to resolve the propensity of your two pups trying to go in opposite directions and tying you up with their leashes while taking a walk.
  • You keep buying them bones until at some point you discovered their larder is ridiculously large, encompassing a reserve in multiple plastic containers in three or four rooms throughout the house.
  • One of your cupboards is crammed full of treats, many of which were past purchases that were rejected “paws down.” You cater to the unique tastes of both dogs; of course, they don’t like the same things.
  • “You have been trained” to give out everything in pairs. At times, you take into account the alpha dog’s competitive spirit (Gracie) and her desire to steal the bone from the easy-going one (Brewster). That means you have on-hand two identical bones. If Gracie doesn’t get the bone that Brewster has in his mouth (the only one she wants), she barks him down until he gives it up. To keep the peace, after she grabs it and sets off to consume it, you unobtrusively hand Brewster another one.
  • On the day of your 40th wedding anniversary, you go out and buy one of the dogs it’s own desk chair so she can sit next to you while you’re on the computer. Yes, this means that since you have two dogs, there are two extra chairs cluttering up the space in your office.
  • Your dogs have more patience with little children than you do. As you walk them up the street, they suddenly jerk to a stop and stare at the front door of a neighbor’s house, waiting for the “human critters” to come out and play with them.
  • You acquiesce. One dog is frequently insisting that you pick him up and carry him with you. The other one, not as often. At times, Brewster can be stubborn and “hit the brakes” on a walk, simply refusing to go where you want him to go. Of course, as well trained as you are, you comply.
  • When one of your furry friends is having a bad day, you’re having a bad day. Black or blue moods spread very easily. But, in a snap of your fingers, life is joyful again, and yippee, all is forgotten.
Gracie’s favorite spot on the bed

Who’s training whom?

Dog owners share a common vocabulary and unique language. Some of it sounds a little like baby talk… (Check out the American Kennel Club’s piece, Study Shows Dogs Really Do Respond to Baby Talk by Linda Lombardi)

  • “Wanna go outside?”
  • “Need to go potty?”
  • “Good dog!”
  • “Isn’t he cute?”
  • “Did you do this?”
  • “He did his number two.”
  • “This is puppy heaven!”
  • “She gave me a kiss!” or “Give mommy a kiss! No kiss?”

Ever count how many times YOU “cave-in” to your pet’s requests? They stare at you with those big sad eyes (“Daddy, please share a scrap of food from the table…”), and when the “alpha” spouse turns her back… (“Oh-oh, something just fell off the table!”)

Our pooches know how to distract us, reach directly into our hearts, make us smile no matter what our mood, and finagle yet one more treat out of the bag… and, yes, we love their trickery! Hey, exactly who is in charge, here?

You should read this amusing article from an obviously experienced dog trainer Casey Lomonaco writing in DogStarDaily. We dog owners only have ourselves to blame (if we even care about their “controlling behavior!”) For me: “Been there, done that, drank the Kool-Aid, and bought the t-shirt!”

FYI, I found a promising book on this subject: Who’s Training Whom? – Six Easy Lessons to Put Any Dog Owner Back in the Driver’s Seat and in Control of Their Dog. by Carols Puentes.

The best part – learning MY dogs’ quirks

There are times when Brewster’s and Gracie’s “doganalities” seem to be much more pronounced. Here are a few “fun” anecdotes!

  • You would think I just gave Brewster filet mignon, witnessing all the excitement of full-throttle chasing after, pouncing on, tossing around, and eventually chewing up an ice cube!
  • Gracie’s demonstrates her athleticism with a remarkable burst of energy to run up three flights of stairs to get on the bed to retrieve a bone.
  • One of Brewster’s favorite things-to-do is to jump onto “good grass” (devoid of branches, acorns, or leaves) rubbing his back in semi-circles as if doing the back stroke in a swimming pool. Of course, I have to pull up on his leash to stop him. (Wife is also allergic to mold and grass!)
  • Both Brewster and Gracie sleep with us in our queen-size bed. Did I say, they take up more than 2/3’s of the bed? Brewster needs to jam himself against me to nestle in the small of my back, while Gracie chooses a spot near my feet.
  • My two dogs like to play tug-a-war with one another, albeit very briefly, fighting over a toy or Brewster grabbing one of their beds with his teeth, taunting Gracie with it, and then dragging it across the floor.
  • Gracie’s internal clock is amazing, and so is her command of “people” language. At precisely 5 p.m. when she is usually fed, she jumps off the chair, stairs at one of us, and if we say, “ten minutes,” she sighs and goes over to her beanbag chair, only to return in exactly ten minutes to remind us “dinner is past due!”
  • No matter how I often I do it, when I nuzzle Brewster’s ear, he repays the compliment by licking my wrist. “Thank you, Daddy!”
  • To make house guests laugh (even our dog groomers), if you ever ask, “Need to go outside?” – Brewster will turn around and look at his butt.

You embrace their differences, laugh at the signature looks, gestures, and motions, and especially revel in their one-of-kind “prancing.” (Brewster hops like a kangaroo when he’s at his happiest times!) As educators, we know that “differentiation is essential.” It’s no different with dogs. And, you can always tell who’s-who in the dark by the unique sounds of their “gate” and the nails on our hardwood floors.

Unlike your human children or the students in your classes at school, you are always the centerpiece of their lives, what they live for, yearning to spend 100% of their time next to their “heroes” who can do no wrong, and (of course) they simply become the center of your life.

Recap: Rationale for fostering a furry friend!

So now that you are retired, have you settled on your self-reinvention and found the mandatory “purpose, structure, and community” referred to by best-selling author Ernie Zelinzski in How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free?

For our Finale, these are Fox’s reasons for Finding a Forever yours pet!

  • Fitness (help you to get up, get moving, and get out of the house)
  • Forecasting (they seem to be able to predict your mood, the weather, or the Future, and they certainly know when something is going on outside)
  • Friendliness (despite COVID-19 restrictions, they Fight isolation and Favor meeting people and getting to know your neighbors – even a random passerby!)
  • One last burst of alliteration: Fun, Frivolity, Festivity, and Fascination (literally what they add to “the joy of life!”). You can’t beat that!

I invite you to revisit my other four “blogs on dogs!”

PKF

© 2020 Paul K. Fox

Sleep and Retirement

Are you getting enough (or too much) rest?

Saying goodbye to work life can mean a change in your sleep schedule. Learn how to sleep well during this new stage of life.

“Sleep, and the Workplace” at Sleep.org

cartoon what time do you want to get up

Did you know there really exists a National Sleep Foundation? Now that we are retired from full-time music teaching and the day-to-day stress of managing classes and a busy music program, do you think we need it? Can’t we sit back and enjoy “living the life of Riley” without experiencing any work-related tension or fears for the future?

Maybe not! What is that old Chinese proverb? “The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.” After all, as humans, we all seek new and unique challenges to grow (and that brings on stress), and sleep is a complicated issue!

But, no worries! Several someones have “our back” (or should I say “our pillow!”). Here is a collection of insightful resources on promoting better sleep habits and relaxation techniques from a variety of research-based and/or medical authorities.

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I didn’t set an alarm for four months. I quickly learned that one of my favorite times of the day was 30 minutes after I first woke up. For the first time in decades, there wasn’t a rush to get out of bed. I’d let myself fade in and out of sleep several times, savoring the fact that I could let myself fall back into the hazy sleep rather – into the shower to wake myself for the morning drive. I’d gotten up at 5:30 AM for years the found that about 7:15 AM was a natural time for my body to wake up. The dogs seem to enjoy this new routine as well. We have four dogs, all of whom compete for space on the bed. Which ever one happen to be near my hand would nozzle under my fingers when they felt me start to wake up, being content to enjoy our laziness together as a new way to start our new days.

The Keys to a Successful Retirement by Fritz Gilbert

The perks of retirement are many, including the “freedom” to do new things and spend more time with family and friends as well as on travel, personal music-making, hobbies, babysitting loved-ones (or care-giving our elderly relatives), volunteering, and other projects or pursuits of “self-reinvention” suggested by “retiree gurus” like Dave Hughes, Robin Ryan, Kenneth Schultz, Hyrum Smith, and Ernie Zelinski.

Another benefit of post-employment? MORE sleep! According to Sleep.org, “people sleep approximately 20 minutes longer at night after retirement. Those who skimped on sleep the most during their working years see the biggest gains, increasing their nightly sessions by around 45 minutes compared to pre-retirement.”

The National Sleep Foundation website also offers articles on the “science of sleep.”

  • Sleep Cycles – Stages of Sleep
  • Circadian Rhythms
  • What Is Microsleep?
  • How to Fall Asleep Fast
  • What is the Sleep-Wake Cycle?

as well as mattress reviews and life style choices that may affect our sleep.

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The “serious stuff” for serious sleep issues

Experts do believe that “normal aging” brings on some changes to sleep… Basically, older adults tend to get sleepy earlier in the evening, and tend to sleep less deeply than when they were younger.

So it’s probably not realistic to expect that as you get older, you’ll sleep as long or as soundly as when you were younger.

That said, although aging by itself does change sleep, it’s also quite common for older adults to develop health problems that can cause sleep disturbances. So when your older relatives say they aren’t sleeping well, you’ll want to help them check for these. Figuring out what’s going on is always the first step in being able to improve things.

Better Health While Aging blogs by Dr. Leslie Kernisan here and here

The definitions, causes, and treatments of sleep disruption are described in great detail by Leslie Kernisan, M.D., authoring “5 Top Causes of Sleep Problems in Aging and Proven Ways to Treat Insomnia” outlined here:

  1. Underlying medical problems
  2. Sleep-related breathing disorders (snoring, sleep apnea, etc.)
  3. Restless leg syndrome (RLS)
  4. Periodic limb movements (PLM)
  5. Insomnia

Painful nighttime leg cramps may also interrupt sleep, as referenced by the American Family Physician, Mayo Clinic and WebMD.

Dr. Kernisan advises us against using sleeping pills or other sedatives. She prefers the following remedies which have shown great promise, backed up by published research:

  1. Cognitive behavioral therapy: New York Times and Mayo Clinic
  2. Brief behavioral treatment: Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine and National Institute of Health
  3. Mindfulness meditation: Journal of the American Medical Association and Mindfulness Awareness Research Center at UCLA
  4. Exercise: Science Direct, National Institute of Health, and New York Times

The Division of Sleep Medicine at the Harvard Medical School also offers these “Twelve Simple Tips to Improve Your Sleep.”

  1. Avoid caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, and other chemicals that interfere with sleep.
  2. Turn your bedroom into a sleep-inducing environment.
  3. Establish a soothing pre-sleep routine.
  4. Go to sleep when you are truly tired.
  5. Don’t be a night-time clock-watcher.
  6. Use light to your advantage.
  7. Keep your internal clock set with a consistent sleep schedule.
  8. Nap early, or not at all.
  9. Lighten up on evening meals.
  10. Balance fluid intake.
  11. Exercise early.
  12. Follow-through.

Another “sleep checklist” worth a quick examination is available from WebMD.

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Should we take cat naps? The jury is out.

At first glance, the National Sleep Foundation basically says NO! Napping during the day may “throw your body clock off and keep you awake at night.”

However, the truth may be more about how long to doze off during the daylight hours…

You may think that taking a catnap will make you feel more tired than skipping it altogether, but that’s not necessarily true.

The key to waking up refreshed from a nap is all about timing. Just 20 minutes is all you need to get the benefits of napping, such as improved alertness, enhanced performance, and a better mood. Naps of that length keep you in the lightest stage of non-REM sleep, making it easier for you to get up and go after your snooze session. Be sure to set an alarm so you don’t snooze for too long and wake up all groggy.

Nap for 30 to 60 minutes and you’ll hit the deeper stages of sleep, where your brain waves slow down, making you feel groggy (as if you have a sleep hangover) when you wake up…

It might not be worth it to nap at all if you’re going to nap for this amount of time because you’ll likely come out of your shuteye feeling less alert than before.

“How Long Is an Ideal Nap” at Sleep.org

The benefits and drawbacks of napping are further examined by the Mayo Clinic and even TIME magazine.

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Can too much sleep be bad for you?

According to new research carried out by Online Opinions, over-60s need to make sure that they are not in fact getting too much sleep once they are retired, as this can actually have an adverse effect on health.

According to the National Sleep Federation, the optimum amount of sleep for adults aged up to 64 to get each night is between seven and nine hours, while for over-64s, between eight and nine hours is deemed to be best.

You need to remember that your body isn’t as young as it once was and needs a decent amount of rest, but not too much, but the organization warns that more than ten hours’ sleep a night could be stopping people from using their bodies and brains as much as they need to in order to keep them active and hold on to their cognitive functions. In other words, too much sleep could carry a small extra risk of dementia development.

But there’s no need to worry too much; as long as you get plenty of exercise, keep your brain ticking, and lead a healthy lifestyle during the hours that you’re awake, there shouldn’t be too much cause for concern.

Just Group

WebMD warns that oversleeping has been linked to a host of medical problems, including diabetes, heart disease, depression, and increased risk of death.” The article “Physical Side Effects of Oversleeping” delineates the causes and effects of too much sleep, and points to an online “sleep habits assessment” to help you evaluate your needs.

This research seems to be supported by several other sources:

The amount of sleep you need varies significantly over the course of your lifetime. It depends on your age and activity level as well as your general health and lifestyle habits. For instance, during periods of stress or illness, you may feel an increased need for sleep. But although sleep needs differ over time and from person to person, experts typically recommend that adults should sleep between 7 and 9 hours each night.

WebMD

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More on retirement and “mindfulness”

From the author of one of my favorite “teacher self-care books,” I Love My Job But It’s Killing Me by Lesley Moffat, I personally recommend trying the “M-Power Method” of mindfulness practice during meals, movement, music, and what Lesley describes as the “5 S’s of clearing,” cited by the website dailyom.com:

  • Slowing Down
  • Simplifying
  • Sensing
  • Surrendering
  • Self-care

Jason Ong, a sleep psychologist at the Rush University Medical Center, offers these reminders of “Seven Tips for Falling Asleep” based on mindful practices of health and wellness (visit his site here to study these more in depth):

  1. Beginner’s mind
  2. Non-striving
  3. Letting go
  4. Non-judging
  5. Acceptance
  6. Trust
  7. Patience

Finally, if you want to immerse yourself in a comprehensive “mindfulness journey,” visit the blogs of Cindy’s Mindful Retirement to peruse “Mindfulness After Sixty: 21 Practices.”

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Can you “trick” your brain into going to sleep?

One last interesting resource I stumbled on… how to “drum yourself to sleep” if you are having difficulty in calming the thoughts swirling around in your mind at night. This technique intrigued me enough to include it as one of the digital SHJO.clips for my community orchestra musicians sent out as a remote learning opportunity:

CLIP #22C: View and try the techniques in this YouTube “How to Trick Your Brain into Falling Asleep” by Jim Donovan (TEDtalk) using a simple 2 to 3-minute rhythm tapping and breathing “cool-down.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5dE25ANU0k

Now, although anticipated, I am not necessarily looking forward to website comments or emailed responses from mattress and sleep accessory manufacturers, sending me their advertisements, recommendations, and industry reviews. Regardless, one thing is true: “What you sleep on has a major effect on achieving a quality rest!” I can confirm this fact “living it” with a recent replacement upgrade to our master bedroom. If you are in this situation, you need to take ample time to explore all of your options in any new purchase of beds, adjustable or nonadjustable bases, mattresses, bedding, and pillows. Essential in education; here, too: you need to personalize and customize everything to meet your needs!

Just to stave off a few of these companies, here are a few websites to visit if you are in the market to buy a new bed, mattress, pillow, or other bedding:

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The final word? If you prefer a few “more heady” academic studies and statistics on retirement + sleep, look up “Sleep Before and After Retirement” from the National Institute of Health, the “Reduction in Sleep Disturbances at Retirement” dissertation from Cambridge University Press, or review the case studies discussed by Health.Talk.org in “Sleep Problems Later in Life.”

Have a good night!

PKF

 

© 2020 Paul K. Fox

 

Photo credits (in order)

From Pixabay.com

One Happy But Solitary Retiree

 

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The corona-virus crisis has created a new stay-at-home environment for all of us. With the exception of healthcare appointments, grocery pick-ups, and mail deliveries (as well as a few other essential services), we have been banished to indoors for the most part, allowing only an occasional excursion to go get take-out or walk the dogs.

And, many of us feel a bit claustrophobic and worried about the future!

Do not underestimate the cognitive and emotional load that this pandemic brings, or the impact it will have on your productivity, at least in the short term. Difficulty concentrating, low motivation and a state of distraction are to be expected. Adaptation will take time. Go easy on yourself. As we settle into this new rhythm of remote work and isolation, we need to be realistic in the goals we set, both for ourselves and others in our charge.

— Desiree Dickerson at https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-020-00933-5

The purpose of this blog is to reflect on the measures we can bolster our sense of well being, stimulate new directions of personal growth, and endure the unpredictable “ups and downs” of this period of mandatory confinement.

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Self-Care and COVID-19

According to mental health providers and experts in wellness such as Geisinger Health, it is important to your overall health to make time for personal self-care.

From watching the news every hour to scrolling social media a little too much, it’s easy to get lost in the noise of what’s going on around us.

And you’re not alone in this.

If you’ve found yourself in an extended state of self-quarantine, there are some simple steps you can take to protect your mental health, in addition to your physical health.

— Geisinger Health at https://www.geisinger.org/health-and-wellness/wellness-articles/2020/03/18/17/56/self-care-during-quarantine

Geisinger recommends these practices of self-care during a quarantine:

  1. Make time to unwind.
  2. Exercise to promote good health.
  3. Be mindful to support your immune system.
  4. Take breaks from the news.
  5. Remind yourself why you are in isolation.

Here are a few more websites that might help if you are feeling depressed, confused, or just not coping well with all the “corona chaos…” (like us all):

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What Are You Waiting For? Just Make Music!

If truth be told, as a writer and a musician, I personally don’t mind having all of this extra time to focus on creative self-expression.

Think about it…

  • What have you always wanted to explore… play… sing… compose… record… conduct… create?
  • When will you finish your own “Mr. Holland’s Opus,” prepare the parts, and eventually have it taught, performed, and/or recorded?
  • When are you going to publish your next song, article, book, warm-ups, instrumental method, essays on pedagogy, musical, drumline feature or halftime show… or write your personal memoirs?

Well, what’s stopping you from devoting yourself to it RIGHT NOW?

As retired music teachers, we have an advantage… avoiding most of the stress that our still-employed colleagues are experiencing, suddenly having to “catch-up” with the technology, search for online music learning tools and lessons for their classes, and facing even more mostly unanswered challenges:

  • How can I care for my music students and the school program from home?
  • What essential learning can/should I offer during the school/activity closures?
  • How can I rehearse my music ensembles?
  • How can we provide meaningful feedback? Should we assess their work?
  • How do I motivate my students to continue their practice or music enrichment?
  • How will I find the mental, emotional, and physical stamina to serve my students during this lock-down without becoming overwhelmed?

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Costs and Risks Associated with All of This “Social Distancing”

Yes, we have ways to stay in touch electronically via text, email, videoconferencing, and social media, but it is not the same. In fact, many studies indicate that the more time we spend on social media, the less happy, less empathetic, and more envious we are.

The very act of meeting face-to-face, making eye-contact, and physically touching nourishes us but also exposes us to the coronavirus. We all know of the infant mortality research that shows babies deprived of physical touch experience development limitations. It is no different for adults. The Atlantic quotes Tiffany Field, the founder of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami, in describing the power of physical touch:

“…any pressure or movement on the skin helps increase the activity of the Vagus nerve, which connects to every major organ in the human body. Touch from another human slows down the heart. It goes to the GI tract and helps digestion. It helps our emotional expressions—our facial expressions and our vocal expressions. It enhances serotonin, the natural antidepressant in our system. That vagal activity can also lower a body’s levels of the stress hormone cortisol; cortisol is known to harm the ‘natural killer cells’ that can fight viral, bacterial, and cancer cells.”

Field concludes that as people are now especially stressed over the consequence of the virus, they have even greater need of these valuable effects of touch, now that they are afraid to hug or shake hands as usual.

— Robert Hall at https://ifstudies.org/blog/avoiding-a-relationship-pandemic

Indeed, what I do miss most is the human interaction… the ability to share two-way verbal and musical communication in an ensemble. I long for sharing music with the players in my community orchestra – the South Hills Junior Orchestra – who before the outbreak, rehearsed every Saturday for two hours at my former employment placement, the Upper St. Clair High School. I have to settle for sending them more of my “how-to” music articles (Fox’s Firesides) and basically low-tech “distance learning opportunities” discussed in my last blog here.

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Go-To-Meeting, Google Hangouts/Meeting, or Zoom.com

Zoom is not a great vehicle for a “free and easy” exchange of ideas or being able to “monitor and adjust” the learning of a group of students. We use it, and other choices like Go-To-Meeting and Google Hangouts, because we have to use them. It’s better than nothing. It’s important to at least “check in” with the members of your community, church, or school band, orchestra, or choral ensemble, and give them a chance to talk to one another, if only by allowing the use of the chat feature or unmuting all of their mikes at once. (But, get ready for a loud cacophony of sound!)

Zoom is offering a package that is free as long as you stay under 40 minutes for your virtual meetings of more than two people. The sound (delayed and designed for voice not music) is not great,  and you will need to do a quick study of how to adjust the technology to fit your needs. Several websites offer some advice on adaptations for music educators:

If you are thinking about holding online private music lessons, take a look at my string colleague Susanna Sonnenberg’s article. 

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Don’t Become a “Couch Potato!” Get Active and Stay Active!

What we don’t want to do during this emergency is to spend most of our time watching television. Besides being totally unhealthy, sitting in your easy chair like a lump and watching hours upon hours of generally, in my opinion, totally uninspiring programming, will drain the gray matter from your brain. I don’t know if I could stand watching another PBS broadcast rerun, National Geographic episode, or “Nature” program.

The bottom line: being solitary is not being alone. And even if you are left alone at a given moment, you should not be bored!

“Boredom isn’t good or bad,” said John Eastwood, who runs the Boredom Lab at York University in Canada and is co-author of Out of My Skull, a forthcoming book on boredom. “It’s what we do with that signal.”

That’s a confusing moment, especially amid the pandemic, with news outlets and social media publishing endless lists of things to do with all the newfound time, from the juiciest TV to downloading hours of podcasts — a digital bounty that Newton, thankfully, didn’t encounter.

“When you don’t have a lot going on, you might say, ‘Wow, I’m going to binge watch Netflix. This is perfect,’ ” Eastwood said. “That will get rid of the feeling in the short term. But treating yourself like an empty vessel to fill with a compelling experience makes you more ripe for boredom down the road.”

Why?

“Because what you’ve done,” Eastwood said, “is you’ve failed to become the author of your own life.”

— Michael S. Rosenwald at https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/these-are-boom-times-for-boredom-and-the-researchers-who-study-it/2020/03/27/0e62983a-706f-11ea-b148-e4ce3fbd85b5_story.html

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A Top-Ten List for Retired Music Teachers

So, here are my ten things-to-do when stranded at home during any period of forced inactivity or voluntary self-quarantine:

  1. Use Skype, FaceTime, Zoom, etc. to “call” several loved ones, friends, coworkers, or neighbors in your life, and “check in” with them to see how they’re doing. They would appreciate hearing from you!
  2. Feeling lonely or a little down yourself? Reach out to someone. Studies show that when we connect with someone, we release the hormone oxytocin, a chemical that can actually help repair your heart. Simply talking about our problems and sharing our emotions (positive and negative) with someone you trust can be profoundly healing—reducing stress, strengthening our immune system, and reducing physical and emotional distress.
  3. Practice. No matter your choice of instrumental or vocal self-direction, or exposure to the self-exploration of other art forms like painting, drawing, sculpture, sewing, woodworking, photography, or writing, now is the perfect time to develop greater levels of personal artistry, proficiency, and self-confidence… even to establish new goals/pursuits. I have found that mornings work best for me with anything that requires creativity. (Brainstorming for this blog occurred at 8:20 AM one morning, after sleeping in a little, watching the news, and having my breakfast and coffee).
  4. Go outdoors and exercise. Get your body moving… a little every day! If you are lucky to have a furry pet or two, venture into the neighborhood with them… of course, maintaining “safe social distancing” (even the dogs have to stay 6 feet apart from the two-legged mammals) and adhere to the essential rules of pet walking etiquette and citizenship (mentioned here).
  5. Return to those “old fashioned” leisure activities: listen to your favorite music or read a book. Revisit something from that Hornblower (C. S. Forester) or Tom Clancy series (my frequent “gems”). When I needed a break in college (100+ years ago?), I took the afternoon off, ordered myself a medium pizza (yes – I ate it all!), and then walked to the Oakland branch of Carnegie Library to sit in those wonderfully comfortable high-back leather chairs and pull out one of my “old friends” to read.
  6. In other sections of this blog site (here and here), I have already discussed avenues for developing the right side of the brain, mainly our innate creativity and curiosity quotient. Visit these notable sites: https://nationalcreativitynetwork.org/, https://curiosity.com/, Sir Ken Robinson, Odyssey’s 9 Useful and Inspiring Websites for Creative People, Dr. Curtis Bunk’s old “Best of Bunk” site, and the “pinkcasts” and eBooks of Daniel Pink.
  7. Puzzle doing or making can be a relaxing pastime. Some people like to create them (I drew mazes when I was in grade school), while others try to solve them. My wife can sit for hours completing crossword puzzles or assembling the pieces of a virtual jigsaw puzzle on her iPad. If you like making word games, look at websites like http://puzzlemaker.discoveryeducation.com/ or https://www.puzzle-maker.com. 
  8. If you are in a “tidy mood,” now would be a great time to reorganize, de-clutter, or sort through your closets, cupboards, or drawers. Put aside unused or unneeded clothing for Goodwill or the Salvation Army. Have you indexed your record/CD/DVD collection? One year I alphabetized (by author) and reordered the entire collection of sea books on the shelves in my library (100’s of fiction and nonfiction editions). Do librarians or data base managers get bored easily?
  9. If you are lucky enough to be a pensioner and can rely on a somewhat safe monthly income coming in, you might be surprised that this might be a good opportunity to save money. My wife and I have suddenly stopped going out to our favorite restaurants, which was our usual practice 3-5 times a week. Cooking and eating at home, although raising our grocery budget, has brought down our overall food expenses. Put away a little green every month while eating those healthy greens! And, if you can tolerate the stock market doing it’s “roller coaster ride,” consider planning a few new long-term investments if/when you decide the prices are low or discounted enough during the economic crisis.
  10. Finally, schedule a virtual field trip. During our careers and now retirement, my wife and I were never much into traveling around the country or the world. Professional responsibilities (string camp, music workshops, youth orchestra tours, and the extended marching band season) usually precluded taking cruises or long vacations. There are a lot of places on the planet to which we have not journeyed. One thing a lot of people have discovered during these shelter-in-place restrictions is the amazing number of FREE online resources that transport us to museums, galleries, architecture “wonders of the world,” online films of Met operas and Broadway musicals, etc. Plan to take a handful of these wonderful “Internet trips.” (Special thanks for the advance “legwork” of many of these destinations done by Andrea Romano at https://www.travelandleisure.com/attractions/museums-galleries/museums-with-virtual-tours).

virtual tours

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More websites with suggestions about conquering boredom or avoiding becoming too sedentary during the COVID-19 “stay-at-home” orders:

This article and researching the links above took 4-5 hours, and were the things I did to pass the time TODAY! So, now it’s your turn.

The world is your oyster. Get out there and crack it!

Best wishes for your continued good health, safety, happiness, and finding a little music and meaning in every day!

PKF

 

Photo credits (in order)

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From Pixabay.com

  • concerns-concerned-about-the-anxiety-4944455 by Larsgustav
  • yoga-exercise-fitness-woman-health-3053488 by lograstudio
  • score-music-piano-guitar-melody-4947840 by sweetlouise
  • covid-19-coronavirus-distance-4940638 by geralt
  • meeting-relationship-business-1019875 by Peggy_Marco
  • wood-couch-potatoes-funny-potatoes-3119970 by Alexas_Fotos
  • sunset-island-mar-dusk-brain-485016 by 95C
  • pieces-of-the-puzzle-mix-hands-592798 by Hans
  • wooden-train-toys-train-first-class by Couleur

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© 2020 Paul K. Fox

Sharing a New Discovery for Band

Here’s my first try at a little musicology! Retired music teachers and those “shut-in” due to COVID-19 (which is almost everyone) can take some of their free time to “dabble” in a review of famous contributors and contributions to our music history…

Quick! Can you name one of the most influential composers of the 20th century, a pupil of Henry Cowell and Arnold Schoenberg, who was also instrumental in the development of modern dance?

Hint? Here’s his picture.

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John Milton Cage Jr. (September 5, 1912 – August 12, 1992) was an American composer, music theorist, artist, and philosopher. A pioneer of indeterminacy in music, electroacoustic music, and non-standard use of musical instruments, Cage was one of the leading figures of the post-war avant-garde. — Greene, David Mason (2007). Greene’s Biographical Encyclopedia of Composers. p. 1407

Cage was a pioneer of the prepared piano, an acoustic keyboard instrument with its sound altered by objects placed between or on its strings or hammers (see above photo), for which he wrote numerous dance-related works and a few concert pieces.

What may not be as well known was John Cage’s intense study of Indian philosophy and Zen Buddhism in the late 1940s, which led him to focusing on the concept of aleatoric or “chance-controlled music,” which he started composing in 1951.

The I Ching, an ancient Chinese classic text decision-making tool, which uses chance operations to suggest answers to questions one may pose, became Cage’s standard composition tool for the rest of his life. In a 1957 lecture, Experimental Music, he described music as “a purposeless play” which is “an affirmation of life – not an attempt to bring order out of chaos nor to suggest improvements in creation, but simply a way of waking up to the very life we’re living.” — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Cage and https://johncage.org/

The “Classic” from John Cage’s collection

John Cage 4' 33"

Pianists and musicologists are familiar with the original Peters edition of one of his most notable works, titled 4′ 33″ (for its length), as well as his free use of exploratory and unconventional instrument types, equipment alterations, and groupings. John Cage was indeed most prolific with an exhaustive number of varied compositions to his credit, spanning his 80-year life:

From his Apprenticeship Period 1932-1936

  • Greek Ode for voice and piano (1932)
  • Three Easy Pieces (1. Round in A minor, 2. Duo in G major, 3. Infinite canon in F minor) for piano (1933)
  • Three Songs for voice and piano, (1932–33)
  • Sonata for Clarinet (1933)
  • Three pieces for two flutes (1935)
  • Quartet for any four percussion instruments (1935)
  • Two pieces for piano (1935?, revised 1974)
  • Trio for three percussionists (1936)

From his Modern Dance, Prepared Piano, and Transition to Chance Period 1937-1951

  • Music for Wind Instruments (wind quintet – 1938)
  • Bacchanale for prepared piano (1938)
  • Imaginary Landscape No. 1 for two variable-speed phonograph turntables, frequency recordings, muted piano and cymbal (1939)
  • First Construction (in Metal) for six percussionists and an assistant (1939)
  • Second Construction for four percussionists (1940)
  • Third Construction for four percussionists (1941)
  • The City Wears a Slouch Hat for narrator and six percussionists (1942)
  • Credo in Us for four performers with various objects (1942)
  • She Is Asleep: 1. Quartet for percussion, 2. Duet for voice and prepared piano (1943)
  • Ophelia for piano (1945)
  • Prelude in A minor  for flute, bassoon, trumpet, violin, cello and piano (1946)
  • In a Landscape for piano or harp (1948)
  • Sonatas and Interludes for prepared piano (1946–48)
  • Suite for Toy Piano (1948)
  • A Flower for voice and closed piano (1950)

Sample First Chance Works 1951-1958

  • Sixteen Dances for flute, trumpet, 4 percussionists, piano, violin and cello (1950–1951)
  • Imaginary Landscape No. 4 (March No. 2) for 12 radios, 24 performers and a conductor (1951)
  • Music of Changes for piano (1951)
  • Seven Haiku for piano (1951–1952)
  • Waiting for piano (January 7, 1952)
  • Music for Piano 4–19 for any number of pianos (1953)
  • 26’1.1499″ for a string player (1953–55, finished in 1955)
  • Music for Piano 21–36, 37–52 for piano solo or in an ensemble (1955)
  • Speech 1955 for news reader and 5 radios (1955)
  • 27’10.554″ for a percussionist (1956)
  • Radio Music for 1 to 8 performers using radios (1956)
  • Winter Music for piano (1957)
  • For Paul Taylor and Anita Dencks for piano (1957)
  • Fontana Mix for tape (1958)
  • Aria for voice (1958)

Sample Happenings, Theater Music 1959-1968

  • Sounds of Venice for television set (one performer) (1959)
  • Water Walk, a work for a TV show for one performer with a variety of objects (1959)
  • Cartridge Music for amplified sounds (1960)
  • Music for Carillon No. 4 for electronic instrument with accompaniment (1961)
  • Variations II for any number of performers and any kind and number of instruments (1961)
  • Music for Piano 85 for piano and electronics (1962)
  • Variations III for any number of people performing any actions (1962)
  • Electronic Music for solo piano (or any number of pianos) with electronics (1964)
  • Rozart Mix, tape loops (1965)
  • Variations V (1965)
  • Variations VI for a plurality of sound systems (1966)
  • Variations VIII no music or recordings (1967; revised 1978)
  • Assemblage for electronics (1968)

Samples of Return to Composition 1969-1986

  • HPSCHD for 1 to 7 amplified harpsichords and 1 to 51 tapes (1967–69, accompanied with Program (KNOBS) for the listener, an instruction for playing back the recording of the piece)
  • Cheap Imitation for piano (1969; orchestrated 1972, violin version 1977)
  • Bird Cage for 12 tapes (1972)
  • Etcetera for small orchestra, tape and, optionally, 3 conductors (1973)
  • Exercise for an orchestra of soloists (1973, based on Etcetera; second version completed in 1984)
  • Etudes Australes for piano (1974–75)
  • Some of the “Harmony of Maine” for organist and three assistants (1978)
  • Etudes Boreales for cello and/or piano (1978)
  • Hymns and Variations for twelve amplified voices (1979)
  • Ryoanji for double bass, trombone, oboe, voice, percussion, small orchestra (1983; parts added in 1983–85, and an unfinished cello part survives from 1992)
  • Selkus2 (1984)
  • ASLSP for piano or organ (1985)
  • Haikai for gamelan ensemble (1986)

Sample Number Pieces and Other Late Works 1987-1992

  • Twenty-Three for 13 violins, 5 violas and 5 cellos (1988)
  • Five Stone Wind for three performers with clay drums, electronics and unspecified instruments (1988)
  • 1O1 for orchestra (1988)
  • Four for string quartet (1989)
  • One2 for 1 to 4 pianos (1989)
  • Three for three recorders (1989)
  • One7 for any sound-producing object (1990)
  • Scottish Circus for Scottish folk band of any number of musicians and any instruments/voices (1990)
  • Twenty-Six for 26 violins (1991)
  • Twenty-Eight for wind ensemble (1991)
  • Muoyce II (Writing through Ulysses) for speaker and tapes (May 1992)
  • One11 for solo cinematographer (1992)

New “Bandstration” by John Cage

SmartMusic library

We are happy to announce a fairly recent discovery, a unique musical “find” for band directors, the first of which is a new adaptation of his work 4′ 33″ available for middle to high school concert band (full instrumentation, listed below) and a reduced, surprisingly easy-accessible arrangement for elementary band.

The music can be ordered from number of publishing houses, including C.F. Peters Corp., Sheet Music Plus, and J.W. Pepper.

Cage arrangement for band in SmartMusic

Smartmusic (MakeMusic, Inc.) added the newest edition of 4′ 33″ to its music library, labeling it “concert” and “contest” genre at the “medium easy” level with options to practice, perform, and assess individual instruments from within the score, including:

  • Flute
  • Oboe
  • Bassoon
  • Clarinet
  • Bass Clarinet
  • Alto Saxophone
  • Tenor Saxophone
  • Baritone Saxophone
  • French Horn
  • Trumpet
  • Trombone
  • Euphonium T.C.
  • Euphonium B.C.
  • Tuba
  • Mallet Percussion
  • Percussion
  • Timpani

John Cage printed band arrangement

An even more simplistic elementary band version, with a recommended two minutes performance time, is published by Classical Arrangements for Young Bands.

Take time to explore the amazing life and music of John Cage. You won’t be sorry!

PKF

 

Bibliography

 

© 2020 Paul K. Fox

Will You Still Need Me When I Retire?

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Pixabay.com by skeeze

When I get older, losing my hair
Many years from now,
Will you still be sending me a valentine,
birthday greetings, bottle of wine?

If I’d been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I’m sixty-four?

– John Lennon / Paul McCartney, songwriters

When I’m Sixty-Four lyrics © 1967 Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

 

Mattering vs. Marginality

Perspectives for Those Leaving the Profession

Adaptations of the article in PMEA News (Fall 2019) and the blog “Retiree Concepts.”

Do you feel “needed” and “making a difference” to others? This is an essential part of what author Ernie Zelinski of the best-seller book How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free emphasizes: “finding purpose, structure, and community” – goals for which your job and career usually provide – but are equally essential in retirement.

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“Work structures us and gives us routine in our lives,” says psychologist Louis Primavera of Touro College in New York City, who co-wrote the 2012 book The Retirement Maze: What You Should Know Before and After You Retire. “We plan around work. It is part of our identity. We go to a social gathering and people say, ‘What do you do?’ Clearly, what happens is people say, ‘What am I going to do? What am I going to be?’ The loss of identity is a major fear.”

Retiring is “a series of transitions,” says Nancy Schlossberg, a professor emerita of counseling psychology at the University of Maryland, and now of Sarasota, Fla., where she is a consultant and public speaker on life transitions. “Change is very unsettling. There are people afraid because they can’t forecast the future,” she says, and because they worry “they no longer will have a purpose.”

In her 2009 book Revitalizing Retirement: Reshaping Your Identity, Relationships, and Purpose, Schlossberg talks about “mattering,” which she describes as “the degree to which you feel you’re appreciated, you’re noticed, you’re depended upon.”

Citing the research of Morris Rosenberg and B. Claire McCullough (adolescent studies) at https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1983-07744-001, Schlossberg further defines it as “a universal, lifelong issue that connects us all.”  Her “four dimensions of mattering” are:

  • Attention – the feeling that a person has the interest of another;
  • Importance – the feeling that others care about what you want, think, and do;
  • Ego-Extension – the feeling that others will be proud of your successes and/or saddened by your failures;
  • Dependence – the feeling that a person can depend on someone else.

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Schlossberg also describes the opposing term “marginality” as “a sense of not fitting in,” which can lead to “self-consciousness, irritability, and depression. For some, these feelings can be permanent conditions.” Furthermore, “feelings of marginality often occur when individuals take on new roles, especially when they are uncertain about what these entail.”

Sound familiar? This might resemble that sometimes-tumultuous passage to and emotional ups-and-downs during the initial stages of “life after the work!”

Retirees, do you wake up in the morning feeling like you have an important part to play in the grand scheme of things? According to blogger Carol Larson and life coach Mary Helen Conroy, “During those early months of retirement, folks often try to figure out what their purpose is now that they’re not working. They wonder if they matter.” They view this concept through the lens of popular culture and the literature of transitions. You are invited to try their shared “recipe for mattering” in the Retiree Rebel free-podcast posted at http://www.retireerebels.com/mattering-matter-retirement-mhc-214/.

Dr. Amit Sood, author of the Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress-Free Living, recommends to “treat the first year in retirement as if you are ‘interning’ to give yourself time to readjust and set new expectations.” So, seemingly taking his advice, plan a “break” from everything, take extended trips, tours, or cruises, and enjoy some unscheduled time… to literally “go with the flow.”

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Susan Woodward, now 75 and living in Tucson, spent four years of her retirement traveling the country in her RV. She visited national parks and the maritime provinces in Canada, and even spent of that time volunteering. What she remembers most is her first trip, when she headed to Deming, N.M. from Raleigh, N.C. “I had such a sense of freedom, empowerment, expansion. I can’t even explain it,” she said. “It was like the whole world opened up.”

— Alessandra Malito

But, a “traditional retirement” may not be for everyone. As Alessandra Malito writes in MarketWatch https://www.marketwatch.com/story/afraid-of-being-bored-in-retirement-consider-these-options-2017-10-10, “Some can’t wait to put in their papers, while others dread the day they give up work for fear of having nothing to do, and no meaning to their name.”

It’s true that retirement can be a dangerous time for some. Without a sense of purpose, the risk of depression increases, and what should be a relaxing time becomes an anxious one. Studies show that without anything meaningful to do, and “mental exercises” throughout the day, cognitive abilities diminish in early retirees. They should also engage in social activities and find a leisurely activity they can enjoy if they aren’t trying to spend their retirement years still working.

— Alessandra Malito

The good news? You have friends in high places… NAfME and your state’s federated music education association (MEA) colleagues who have successfully “Crossed the Rubicon” into an active, meaningful, healthy, and happy retirement.

pmeaAnyone contemplating retiring over the next three years should visit their state’s retired member section and Retired Member focus area on the PMEA website: https://www.pmea.net/retired-members/. Take a look at past issues of the PMEA Retired Member Network eNEWS, read the Ultimate Retiree Resource Guide/Bibliography (also posted here), and view the video How-to-Retire.

Finding purpose and “mattering” during your post-full-time employment years will be easier if you continue your own pursuits in music artistry and creative self-expression, as well as your support of music education – be as active as you want – but consider the value of a few of these Goals/Benefits of NAfME/State MEA Retired Membership:

What music teacher retirees need from their professional associations…

  • Recognition and archival of past and current professional accomplishments, assignments, interests, skills, and talents.
  • Sessions geared for retired members, such as nurturing expressiveness and participation in amateur/community ensembles, retirement planning, etc.
  • New “brain-engaging” outlets for learning, leadership, advocacy, “encore career” development, and service.
  • Discounts for membership and attending festivals, workshops, and conferences.

What NAfME and state MEAs’ need from its retirees…nafme

  • Mentoring of new/less experienced teachers
  • Advising “best practices” in curriculum, instruction, assessment, and literature
  • Serving as leaders or consultants on local or state councils/boards
  • Volunteering at local workshops and state conferences
  • Advocating music education to the legislature and general public
  • Presenting sessions at workshops or conferences
  • Conducting, coaching, or accompanying students at festivals
  • Assisting in technology, teacher training, recruitment, auditions, etc.

Yes, you do matter, and you have a lot to offer benefiting the profession to which you have devoted your life! Happy trails to all retiring and retired members!

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References

Jayson, Sharon. (2017). Are You Afraid to Retire? AARP: https://www.aarp.org/retirement/planning-for-retirement/info-2017/retirement-fear-fd.html

Larson, Carol & Conroy, Mary Helen. (2017). Mattering: Do I Matter After Retirement? Retiree Rebels: http://www.retireerebels.com/mattering-matter-retirement-mhc-214/

Malito, Alessandra. (2017). Afraid of Being Bored in Retirement? Consider These Options. MarketWatch: https://www.marketwatch.com/story/afraid-of-being-bored-in-retirement-consider-these-options-2017-10-10

Malito, Alessandra. (2017). This is What Older People Do When They’re Not Quite Ready to Retire. MarketWatch: https://www.marketwatch.com/story/this-is-what-older-people-do-when-theyre-not-quite-ready-to-retire-2017-07-07

Malito, Alessandra. (2017). Why Retirement Can Be a Dangerous Time. MarketWatch: https://www.marketwatch.com/story/why-retirement-can-be-a-dangerous-time-2017-09-18

Primavera, Louis, Pascale, Rob & Roach, Rip. The Retirement Maze: What You Should Know Before and After You Retire. Rowan & Littlefield Publishers, 2012.

Rohwedder, Susann & Willis, Robert J. (2010) Mental Retirement. National Center for Biotechnology Information: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2958696/

Rosenberg, M., & McCullough, B. C. (1981). Mattering: Inferred significance and mental health among adolescents. Research in Community & Mental Health, 2, 163-182

Schlossberg, Nancy K. Revitalizing Retirement: Reshaping Your Identity, Relationships, and Purpose. American Psychological Association, 2009

Sood, Amit. The Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress-Free Living. Da Capo Press, 2013

Zelinski, Ernie J. How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free. Ten Speed Press, 2009

PKF

© 2020 Paul K. Fox

Living Your Legacy

Teacher Retirees: Not to be morose, but have you undergone a little soul-searching and introspection into how you want to leave your mark on this world? Since you’ve departed from your full-time career, do you feel your past/current goals and pursuits will make a difference?

How will you be remembered once you’re gone?

If someone else was to “put me on the spot” and ask me this, my quick rejoinder would be, “Music and education are my life!”

How about you?

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Let’s start with a review of the broad definition from Merriam-Webster:

legacy

noun: 1. a gift by will especially of money or other personal property, 2. something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past

adjective: of, relating to, associated with, or carried over from an earlier time, technology, business, etc.

synonyms: bequest, birthright, heritage, inheritance, patrimony

Legacy is [how] most people… want to be remembered, loved, and revered.

A legacy is not something that we have complete control over. After all, we cannot control how other people perceive us, we can only control our own actions.

So how can we leave the world with a legacy of our choosing?

What we must do is inspire through our own actions. If you go back through time and analyze the most influential legacies, you’ll see that they all inspired action through their own action. They didn’t just think about doing things, or tell others to do them; they went out and got things done on their own!

These legacies began while they were still alive, except I’m sure they weren’t thinking about them in those terms. Their ACCOMPLISHED GOALS became their legacy, which lives on today.

— Amy Clover in Strong Inside Out

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It may boil down to two thought-provoking inquiries posed in “What Will Be Your Legacy?” What do you want to leave for the world that will affect it when you are gone? AND How do you want to change the future?

Thanks to blogger Marelisa Fabrega, here’s more food for thought and self-examination:

  1. What do you want your life to stand for?
  2. How do you want to be remembered by your family and friends?
  3. What will those beyond your circle of family friends remember you for?
  4. What kind of impact do you want to have on your community?
  5. How will the world be a better place because you were in it?
  6. What contributions do you want to make to your field?
  7. Whose lives will you have touched?
  8. What lessons would you like to pass on to future generations?
  9. What do you want to leave behind?
  10. How can you serve?

 

Dead Poets Society-bardfilm.blogspot.com

In her article “How to Leave a Lasting Legacy,” Fabrega also shares several activities for the creation of a personal legacy, everything from the Stephen Covey exercise on writing your own obituary or designing the words you want etched on your tombstone to adding your own “meaning of life” verse to the Walt Whitman poem Oh Me Oh Life as English teacher John Keating (played by Robin Williams) taught in the film Dead Poets Society.

Your legacy is putting your stamp on the future. It’s a way to make some meaning of your existence: “Yes, world of the future, I was here. Here’s my contribution, here’s why I hope my life mattered.”

— Bart Astor in Forbes

 

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Getting Your Affairs in Order

A legacy is more than a large donation to your favorite church, foundation, or charity. Of course, this process should begin with self-reflection, advance planning, hiring an attorney, and making your financial intentions and final instructions clear in writing.

Do you have a legal will, ethical will, living trust, Power of Attorney, and advance directive? Have you updated your important documents to take care of the needs of your family? Have you notified your spouse, adult children, and other relatives where they can find these legal papers, passwords, and other digital files? If not, please review my blog “Estate Planning.”

But, legacy is so much more, including strategies for passing on your values and goals after you are no longer here!

Ethical Wills.png13 years ago, I first learned about an ancient tradition for passing on personal values, beliefs, blessings, and advice to future generations called an “ethical will.” At a subconscious level, I must remember the custom, because when my father was diagnosed with lung cancer in 1990, I asked him to write a letter about the things that he valued. About a month before he died, my dad gave me two hand-written pages in which he spoke about the importance of being honest, getting a good education, helping people in need, and always remaining loyal to family. That letter – his ethical will – meant more to me than any material possession he could have bequeathed.

— Barry K. Baines in Ethical Wills

As we have also noted in a previous blog-post, you should reflect on what you would say to those nearest and dearest to you if you couldn’t (or didn’t) tell them in person. Consider writing individual letters to your partner, children, or other family members “as a way of leaving a few last words.” Check out Frish Brandt’s “Last[ing] Letters.”

 

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Your Contributions “In Memoriam”

The idea of leaving a legacy is the need or the desire to be remembered for what you have contributed to the world. In some cases, that contribution can be so special that the universe is unalterably changed. However, for most of us mere mortals walking this earth, we will leave a more modest legacy that doesn’t necessarily change the world but does leave a lasting footprint that will be remembered by those whose lives you touched.

You hope your life matters in some way. I know I do. I’ve been teaching since the age of 22 and teaching is my legacy, my contribution that hopefully enlightened the lives of my students whether they became actors, scientists, doctors, mothers or yogis. My teaching is a gift that keeps on giving because it leads me to other learning and knowing experiences that I share with others.

— Joan Moran in HUFFPOST

(I bolded “teaching is my legacy” in the above quote because I hope that will be considered as my own preeminent legacy.)

To borrow from the inspiration and expertise of others, I found this insightful and stimulating self-help article offering “Five Ways to Leave a Great Legacy” by Joan Moran.

Moran describes in detail these tips:

  1. ornament-1899065_1920_2_xsonicchaosSupport the people and causes that are important to you.
  2. Reflect and decide what is most important to you in your life.
  3. Share your blessings with others.
  4. Be a mentor to others.
  5. Pursue your passions because they are infectious.

She sums it up succinctly: “Leaving a legacy is an important part of your life’s work. A legacy develops from a life dedicated to self-reflection and purpose. What will be revealed and what will endure is a truthful and value driven body of living.”

The straightforward way to live a life of significance is simply to share your three t’s: time, talent, and treasure. Our lives are meant to give away – to significant causes, to loving families, to friends in need, to lasting relationships. Find a way that your gifts can serve others. Your time, energy, and money are precious resources – they are limited, and you are the sole owner. If you spend them in one area you can’t spend them in another. When we say “yes” to one thing, by default we saying “no” to something else. The key to winning is to say “yes” to the significant things in your life.

— Lee Colan in Inc.

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Giving Back… Getting Personal

eleemosynary

adjective: of, relating to, or supported by charity

synonyms: altruistic, beneficent, benevolent, charitable, do-good, good, humanitarian, philanthropic

Fancy SAT vocabulary term! No, we do not need a visit from Charles Dickens’ three ghosts to learn altruism! Everyone should want to be remembered as eleemosynary or generous souls! Especially during my retirement years (2013 to the present), I want to model volunteerism:

  • Fox_Paul_SHJODirecting the South Hills Junior Orchestra (non-salaried sharing of my teaching)
  • Serving as a volunteer escort for the St. Clair Memorial Hospital (three days/week)
  • Promoting communications and marketing strategies of the Community Foundation of Upper St. Clair
  • Supporting the Pennsylvania Music Educators Association in various projects including teacher training, recruitment, retention, and retirement prep.
  • Writing articles and presenting workshops/webinars that help other teachers

These wishes will need to be updated from time to time, just like revising mission/vision statements, goals and objectives.

In addition, future monetary bequeaths from “what’s left” of our remaining assets will serve as “random acts of kindness from the grave” in support our current values, funding hereafter projects and pursuits (subscribing Moran’s tips #1-3 above) that matter to us.

How to Make an Educator Smile

My wife and I never had kids, so admittedly we live vicariously when we “bump into” our former students and revel in their major life-passages and accomplishments. It warms a retired music teacher’s heart to “catch-up” with a combined 53+-year history of past pupils from our music classes, choirs, bands, orchestras, and musical/play productions, and learn that they are happy, healthy, prosperous, and thriving. It gives us a special thrill to hear they are still “making music” and/or passing on their love of the arts to their own kids. That is indeed part of every teacher’s wish for a lasting legacy.

During our retirement, we continue to attend many concerts, recitals, weddings, receptions, Eagle Scout ceremonies, etc. of our former “charges.” We feel blessed to be invited to participate in these special occasions to share in their joy, love, and success.

In some small way, we fervently hope our efforts to bring creative self-expression and the appreciation of the arts have made a difference to our students’ lives and their development into caring, responsible, and “artistic” adults.

In Conclusion: The Fox Vision and Values — “These Things I Believe”

  1. Equal-access to high quality and meaningful music education programs is an essential part to the intellectual, emotional, and artistic development of all children.
  2. The primary goal of an education in the arts is to nurture creative self-expression.
  3. Regardless of talent or privilege, every individual on earth can find inspiration and success in some form of music or the arts.
  4. Our life purpose involves relationships. It is more about people than about things.
  5. We were put on this planet to understand and help others, to foster more than a mere tolerance for diverse individuals and perspectives, rather to emphasize the values and practices of acceptance, respect, empathy, and collaboration.
  6. Our primary goal is to empower volunteerism, to make a difference in the lives of others less fortunate or experienced, and to give freely of our time, talents, passions, and resources.

PKF

 

Photo credits (in order) from Pixabay.com

 

Photo of Robin Williams portraying John Keating in the movie Dead Poets Society was by bardfilm.blogspot.com

 

© 2020 Paul K. Fox

Estate Planning: Final Instructions

The Elephant in the Room: How to Prepare Your Family for “The End”

Expanded from the October 3, 2019 article in PMEA Retired Member Network eNEWS.

 

Few people want to talk about it… what co-authors Shoshana Berger and BJ Miller discuss in their book, A Beginner’s Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death:

It may sound morbid, but creating a findable file, binder, cloud-based drive, or even shoe-box where you store estate documents and meaningful personal effects will save your loved ones incalculable time, money, and suffering. “Why You Need to Make a ‘When I Die’ File – Before It Is Too Late” (Berger and Miller)

Do you have a Will? A Power of Attorney? A Living Will or Medical Power of Attorney?

According to their TIME blogpost at https://time.com/5640494/why-you-need-to-make-a-when-i-die-file-before-its-too-late/?utm_source=pocket-newtab, here are a few things you will want to put into your “When I Die” file/folder:

  • An advance directive that is signed and notarized
  • A will* and living trust
  • Marriage or divorce certificates
  • Passwords for phone, computer, email, and social media accounts
  • Instructions for your funeral and final disposition
  • An ethical will*
  • Letters to loved ones

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* Where a legal will transfers assets, an ethical will transfers immaterial things: your life lessons and values. For a discussion on the latter, seek out the book Ethical Wills: Putting Your Values on Paper by Dr. Barry Baines.

Berger and Miller also recommended to purchase and set-up an online password manager to safeguard your data and share the master password with someone you trust. (For more info on password management software, read my “tech rant” blog here.)

With greater detail, we also learn from https://www.wealthmanagement.com/news/final-letter-instructions-family-important the importance of leaving a “final letter of instructions” to your loved ones. The website reports what Neuberger Berman Trust Company advises should be archived in a document to be read after your death.

  • The location of all estate planning documents, such as wills and trust agreements
  • A list of relevant advisors with contact information
  • List of other people to contact on your death
  • Location of any safe deposit boxes, inventory list, location of keys, who is authorized to open
  • List of life insurance policies, location and beneficiaries
  • List of bank accounts and how they are titled
  • Investment and trust account information
  • A description of other assets
  • Any debts or other liabilities
  • Listing of all credit card accounts
  • Inventory of other important documents like deeds and titles, and where they are held
  • Location of keys to all residences
  • Description of any pension benefits and who to contact
  • Instructions concerning funeral or memorial services

They add that this document should be held by your attorney, spouse, and adult children.

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What would you say to those nearest and dearest to you if you couldn’t (or didn’t) tell them in person? Consider writing individual letters to your partner, children, or other family members “as a way of leaving a few last words.” Check out Frish Brandt’s inspiring website, “Last[ing] Letters.”

A Lasting Letter is a letter written to someone you care about, someone who you wish to hear your voice and read your words long into the future. Sometimes referred to as a ‘legacy letter,’ this letter holds the words that carry one’s voice forward in time.

The letter can take many forms: long or short, a memento of a moment or a history of a lifetime, a connection made or missed, an instruction or a confession, a love letter, and everything in between. 

Each letter is ​unique: each voice, each intention is ​individual.

Everyone has a letter in them​.https://www.mylastingletters.com/ (Brandt)

Finally, in their July 25, 2019 YouTube video recorded at the Commonwealth Club (https://www.commonwealthclub.org/events/archive/video/beginners-guide-end-life), Berger quoted the framework by Ira Byock “The Four Things That Matter Most… to say to someone before you die” (yet another book): https://irabyock.org/books/the-four-things-that-matter-most/:

  • “Please forgive me.”
  • “I forgive you.”
  • “Thank you.”
  • “I love you.”

And one more that was added later: “I am proud of you.”

PKF

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Photo credits in order from Pixabay.com:

 

Now What?

Guest blog-post by Colonel (Retired) Thomas H. Palmatier

 

 

Originally printed in the School Band and Orchestra (SB&O) Digital Magazine, June 2019. Reprinted with permission. All rights reserved. http://digitaleditiononline.com/publication/?i=593349#{%22issue_id%22:593349,%22page%22:26}

This was also featured in the August 2019 edition of the PMEA Retired Member Network eNEWS, archived at https://www.pmea.net/retired-member-network-enews-archive/.

Motor City Band Festival Palmatier

At some point, every band or orchestra director will either retire or move to another career. While there is much emphasis on mentorship and other ways to assist new directors, there are almost no programs to help us with the potential a more difficult transition. The U.S. Army has a mandatory program for anyone leaving the service to prepare them for the next phase of their life. Even without assistance, leaving a job that you love is tough for everyone. I want to share some lessons that I learned in the research I’ve done into this issue.

Pershing's OwnIn my case, I had over 37 years where I had established an identity as a music director and as a soldier. Prior to retirement from the army, I was the senior music director in the U.S. Armed Forces and was on speed dial of many officials in the department of defense, the Congress, and of course, the media. I received 500 to 600 emails daily from all over the world. By the way, I also was leader and commander of the US Army Band “Pershing‘s Own,” one of the largest (and busiest) military music units in the world. Then, one day I was no longer in the army, my phone wasn’t ringing constantly, the email stopped, and my schedule was mostly free. Sounds great, right? As a band or orchestra director, you were probably the most well-known and well liked person in your community. You have students, parents, and administrators who rely on you. And then suddenly, you are not that person any longer. For each of us there are emotional/psychological, social/family, and financial impacts of this transition.

MotorCityFestival Palmatier

The identity that you have developed over the years is now essentially gone. I was fortunate to have a colleague warm me up that about six months after retiring, I would hit a wall of depression, and he was so right. Because I have been warned about it, I was able to act with my health care provider.  Now, imagine if upon your transition, you are now spending more time with your spouse/partner then you would ever have before but then find yourself unhappy. Studied show increased divorce rates soon after retirement or a career transition because people make the mistake and assumption that their Brett_Favre_Super_Bowl_50depression is related to spending time with their spouse.

Brett Favre reportedly said when ending his first retirement from pro football that “the one thing about having nothing to do is that it doesn’t take long to do it.” To overcome boredom (and depression), it’s important that you know how you see yourself now and how you want others to see you. For many years, your identity was band/orchestra director. What’s your identity going to be now?

The impact on your social relationships can be equally challenging. Most of us develop the circle of friends in the music and education communities. When you are no longer in “the biz,” who will your friends be now? What will you talk about besides the awesome halftime show that you are no longer writing? This all goes back to who you are now, not who you used to be.

MidWest Clinic Palmatier

The financial impacts of retirement or transition are unique to every individual. However, if you intended to now be self-employed, be serious about it. Create a limited liability company (LLC). Most states let you do it online and it usually cost no more than $100. Keep meticulous records and don’t mess with the IRS. Done right, you can legally deduct lots of things as business expenses. Remember, you don’t have a music library anymore so you will be buying lots of scores (don’t be one of those folks whose library is full of illegal photocopies!).

If you’re going to follow the self-employed path, be aware of that self marketing, maintaining a website (see mine at ThomasPalmatier.com), and bookkeeping take a lot of time.

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There is one terrific way to stay relevant in our profession – being a mentor. I encourage you to read my article in the August 2018 issue of SBO Digital Magazine called “Be a Mentor – Get a Mentor.”

Here are my top five takeaways for those approaching retirement or a career transition:

  • Start preparing as far in advance as possible.
  • Be prepared for the inevitable challenges. If you were unhappy or depressed, get help!
  • You get to define yourself now.
  • Stay relevant – be a mentor.
  • Enjoy it!

 

 

Col. Thomas H. Palmatier
Colonel Palmatier served as guest conductor of the 2017 PA Intercollegiate Band Festival at Grove City College in PA

Colonel (retired) Thomas H. Palmatier is the former leader and commander of the U.S. Army Band “Pershing‘s Own” and commander and conductor of the United States Army Field Band. He holds degrees in music education from the Crane School of Music (State University of New York at Potsdam) and Truman State University, as well as a Master if Strategic Studies degree from the US Army War College. He is an active clinician, adjudicator, and guest conductor of concert bands, orchestras, British-style brass bands, jazz ensembles, and marching bands. He is a Conn-Selmer clinician and a member of the American Bandmasters Association.

© 2019 Paul K. Fox

Pets and Citizenship

Definitions of Neighborly?

The farmer and the cowman should be friends.
Oh, the farmer and the cowman should be friends.
One man likes to push a plough, the other likes to chase a cow,
But that’s no reason why they cain’t be friends.
 
Territory folks should stick together,
Territory folks should all be pals.
Cowboys dance with farmer’s daughters,
Farmers dance with the ranchers’ gals.
 
I’d like to say a word for the farmer,
He come out west and made a lot of changes
 
He come out west and built a lot of fences,
 
And built ’em right acrost our cattle ranges.

— Lyrics of “The Farmer and Cowman” from Oklahoma by Richard Rodgers

In 1906, when events in the show Oklahoma are taking place, there were plenty of reasons farmers and cowboys didn’t want to be friends…

Disputes over land and water rights were the most common reason for fights. Cowboys were used to having the whole territory available for them to drive huge herds of cattle, so when farmers settled near water sources and claimed areas for their own herds of cattle or sheep, there was an understandable amount of hostility. The farmers, on the other hand, would fence in territory and then have all their efforts trampled by cowboys and their droves of cattle, which was also frustrating.

“OKLAHOMA – The Farmer, the Cowman, and Why They Couldn’t Get Along”

What an unusual opening citation for an odd topic to share on this blog-site! Did I get your attention? Admittedly, I have few answers… just the ramblings of this senior citizen. (So, agree or disagree, we would appreciate hearing your views by posting a comment!)

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This article was born from reading a resident’s rant about dog walking on social media:

“It has become apparent, especially in my neighborhood, some of you dog walkers have no respect for other people’s property. Some of us take pride in keeping our yards looking nice. Some also take time to add fertilizer. By letting the dog you are walking pee and or poop in another’s yard, the scent attracts other animals who also want to do the same. Also, urine can kill grass. Being a pet owner myself, I can state when my dogs see another dog peeing or pooping in my yard, they become territorial. The best part is when I politely state please don’t let your dog in my yard, I have actually been asked, “Why not?” The ones who are doing this are the same to whine, complain, and/or call the police when someone offends them.”

— Jason D. on Next Door app, June 17, 2019

My first reaction to this homeowner’s “beef?” He was not being very “neighborly!” But, there’s a lot more to this issue, and I may be on the lower moral ground of the argument.

neighborly
Adjective: Characteristic of being a good neighbor, especially helpful, friendly, or kind.

dogs at Christmas 2015 - 3Okay, since retirement, for the first time in my life, I may call myself a “good neighbor!”

Since becoming a “stay-at-home” retiree, I can now tell you the names of my neighbors, many previously unknown to me when I was a full-time, 24/7 music teacher constantly returning back to school for extra-curricular activities like marching band, plays, chamber choir practices, festivals, musicals, adjudication trips, and meetings. Until 2013 when we entered our post-employment “bliss,” my wife and I (both retiring from similar all-consuming music programs) were never home. Do you need proof? When we first moved here, my next-door neighbor accidentally “turfed” my front yard in the middle of a snow storm (and I did not notice it until the spring thaw). I was told their lack of notification was due to the fact they never saw us. “We were planning to tell you and promise to fix the damage, but you’re never around and seldom answer your phone.”

twodoggies4u - - 2Well, now I have two dogs (Gracie and Brewster) that I walk religiously several times a day. This means that, unless it is raining hard, I am “out and about” in my neighborhood, a wonderful “bedroom-community” with sidewalks and neatly manicured lawns, flower beds, and trees. One could say I have become a “watch dog” on things “coming and going.” Strangers should beware! We serve as an informal “fox and hounds” security service! The three of us know if you don’t belong on our block (although the pups love the mailman, and would probably bark first and then strain the leash to run over and kiss any other newcomer).

With several small “poop bags” in hand, I clean up our messes. Brewster and Gracie are about 12 pounds each… their impact on the environment is minimal! However, I have noticed a lack of citizenship from other pet owners. One dog walker (large breeds) leaves unsolicited “presents” on the grass near the sidewalk…. sometimes even “gift wraps” them in a plastic bag and drops them by the curb! Shame! It gives the rest of us a bad name! With gloves on my hands, I have taken up bringing a large trash bag with me, cleaning up any of these “rude” donations of doggie pollution, or even stray junk thrown from passing cars on our street.

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On occasion, when we expand our territory and walk around the entire block, the dogs and I run into two types residents – opposites – those who love dogs and those who want nothing to do with them. I know there are some who are afraid of pets, so we give them a wide berth. We also avoid the ones who, when I was a kid, we labeled “crab grass kings,” homeowners with not single blade of grass or foliage “out of place.” If your ball accidentally rolled into their yard, you were admonished, “Don’t leave a mark on my turf!” (I remember an incident about a hyper-neighbor with “perfect landscaping” who called the police to “bust up a graduation party” when several teenagers legally parked their cars in his circle. The problem? Several of their tires “touched his grass” (by inches). If memory serves me right, “the rest of the story” was that the angry “lawn-master” would no longer be able to maintain a “perfect landscape” again… the vengeful adolescents retaliated and dug up his scrubs, turfed his grass, defaced his trees, and threw mud on his house and driveway – not once but every time he cleaned up the place.

IMG_1477Gracie, Brewster, and I don’t trespass. We try to model “good citizenship.” We do our best to honor the wishes of our neighbors, respecting any of their issues for privacy, restricted access, fears, or phobias. For the six years I have become a pet owner, only two people have told us, “Don’t let your dogs pee in my yard.”

But, dogs are dogs. Mine seek to “water” every mailbox post and tree trunk on our route. The ten-inch strip of grass between the curb and the sidewalk, a township “right-of-way,” also gets a lot of attention. And, yes, the grass in these areas often fares the worst with numerous brown or yellow patches (although road salt is probably more to blame!)

Am I the cowman whose feels he has the right to let his “doggies roam the pastures?”

No, I will NOT feed my dogs a supplement, like an amino acid-based oral product that claims to eliminate urine spots by changing the pH of your dog’s urine!

Contrary to popular belief, urine spots are not caused exclusively by female dogs or by certain breeds. Rather, it’s the result of urine being deposited in a small concentrated area. Since female dogs tend to squat and stay in one spot to urinate, it will be more likely to damage the grass in that spot. In general, any dog (male or female) that squats or sprays in one spot will deposit urine into a concentrated area. Dog urine spots may also be more noticeable with larger dogs, due to the higher volume of urine produced.

“Green Grass, Happy Dogs: Preventing Dog Urine Spots on Lawns”

If the trouble is in your own yard, there are plenty of sites recommending a solution:

 

But, first make sure your dog is really to blame! The are a lot of conditions that may cause discolored areas on your lawn! Other potential culprits are fungus and other grass disease, insect pests, lack of nitrogen or iron, over-fertilizing, or under-watering.

Believe it or not, dog urine is not as damaging as many people believe it is. Sometimes you may blame the dog for brown or yellow spots in the lawn when in fact it is a grass fungus causing the problem.

To determine if dog urine is killing the lawn or a grass fungus, simply pull up on the affected grass. If the grass in the spot comes up easily, it is a fungus. If it stays firm, it is dog urine damage.

Another indicator that it is dog urine killing the lawn is that the spot will be a bright green on the edges while a fungus spot will not.

“Dog Urine and Your Grass”

doggies 2017 to 2018 - 3

The bottom line? Walking your dog away from your property is important to your pet’s health. Besides elimination, walks are essential for exercise and mental stimulation. Someone once told me, taking your pooch out in the neighborhood on a daily basis is the dog’s equivalent of “checking email” and “posting updates on social media.”

Dogs like to go for walks to get outdoors, sniff and engage with their environment, exercise, and perhaps socialize with people and dogs outside the home. There is no reason that a walk cannot encompass and meet all the needs of both humans and dogs. Because time is often at a premium, it is useful to help owners understand and find creative ways to meet these needs.

“How to Walk Your Dog – How to Do It Well, and Why It Is So Important”

Retirees, read more about the essentials of dog walking here:

 

Other elements regarding pet ownership and citizenship (perhaps the perfect subject for a future blog):

  • Dogs jumping up to greet visitors
  • A large dog “saying hello“ to your guests by placing its paws on their shoulders
  • Dogs who like to play in the mud or wet grass and then leave their calling card with dirty paw prints (on floors, furniture, and people!)
  • Leaving unplanned (solid and smelly) “presents” at the most awkward times
  • Excessive barking, even in your yard, especially when it disturbs your next-door neighbor who likes spending time outdoors gardening

Remember, it usually isn’t the dog’s fault. You don’t actually train animals, you train their handlers! Citizenship is all about the pet owners!

I feel like telling “Jason D” (above) to CHILL OUT! GET A LIFE! There are so many more important things in life about which to worry! One might consider caring a little more about the people (and their children and pets) in his community. His attitude fosters animosity, and besides, “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”

But… Jason has rights! It is his yard!

What are your thoughts on this subject?

Now, I have to go walk the dogs…

PKF

gracie and brewster musical dogs1

© 2019 Paul K. Fox

Retirees: It’s Not YOUR Sandbox!

It's Not Your Sandbox!

It is time that this saying should be made into a bumper sticker, added to a t-shirt design, or automatically displayed on the home page (or screen-saver) of all retired music teachers’ smartphones, tablets, and computers.

I first mentioned this notion as “surrendering your urge to be an agent of change” in a previous blog, entitled “Retiree Concepts.”

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As observed in many unhappy incidents involving fellow retirees, this deserves a repeat mention here with much greater emphasis.

[Teachers] consistently seek ways to reform “the system,” much like efficiency experts. In other words, ‘break it if it needs fixed,’ or seek new practices or approaches to solve problems or improve the student learning. This means we seldom accept the status quo or “that’s the way it’s always have been done.”

I found that in my volunteer work, when I come up to a challenge like a policy that isn’t working, I look for better ways of doing it. Teachers always self-assess and seek changes for “the good of the order,” but these “systems” are not our classrooms. Educators were expected to “modify and adjust,” revise our lesson targets, rip down old bulletin boards and put up new with more exciting media, re-write curriculum, etc., always with the mission to “build a better mouse trap” for the more efficient delivery of instruction to all.

In retirement, this can be frustrating. You can’t tell somebody else how to run their operation. Some people do not want to hear criticism, nor do they care what your opinion is, nor do they want to change their traditions or fine-tuned (?) step-by-step procedures. You on the other hand want things to improve, e.g. better training, more consistent application of the rules, etc., and therefore you feel “unrequited” stress.

Throughout my whole “professional life,” I never looked the other way. I try to fix things. But that’s not everybody’s inclination, and the world is not going to come to end if someone doesn’t take your advice. As retirees, remove the unnecessary hassle. You have two choices. Resign from the activity, or step back from being its self-appointed critic, accept the situation, and let everyone go back to playing their own way in their sandbox. — Paul Fox in “Retiree Concepts”

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My own personal hands-on experience with this has to do with volunteering to push wheelchairs at a local hospital. Taking it very seriously, I was thoroughly trained on all aspects of the transport of patients, including the mandated safety rules for locking both wheels on the wheelchair, going down backwards on ramps and into elevators, and the avoidance of hazards like discharging someone to their car “over a curb” or other obstacles. We knew the hospital policies for contact precautions (isolation), carrying oxygen tanks, and moving overweight patients.

But, almost daily, we watch other medical personnel pushing wheelchairs failing to adhere to these “basics” – resulting in safety infractions too numerous to count!

Yep, it’s not our sandbox!

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Retiring professionals have to learn to de-stress and take ourselves “out of the loop” for every organizational decision, training program, and generation/enforcement of an practices, policies, and regulations of an institution. The reason we retired in the first place was to enjoy the privilege of leaving all of this behind.

As teachers, we embraced “moral professionalism.” That meant, according to E.A. Wynne in “The Moral Dimension of Teaching (Teaching: Theory into Practice, 1995), we were charged with the responsibility to “follow to the letter” school policies and procedures, and if we saw somebody who wasn’t compliant or “on board,” we were supposed to instruct or intervene. (As “fiduciaries” looking out for the students’ best interests and welfare, we were required by law to report serious misconducts.)

Wynne also confirmed that, when a rule was simply not working, we were also obligated to firmly but tactfully suggest a better way of do something.

Past tense! Now that we’re retired, we no longer need to solve these kinds of problems – they belong to the head-honchos. The people who have the privilege (or curse) of “running the show” may not appreciate hearing from us. What was that saying by Robert Heinlein? “Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.”

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More importantly, stressing over someone else’s poorly run “sandbox” will cause you to waste energy, become irritated and short tempered, lower your mood, raise your blood pressure, withdraw from socialization and the things you like doing, or begin to hate with whom you are interacting. No, it’s not worth trying to teach that pig to sing!

Finally, here’s a little more sage advice from “the experts” on stress and retirement. Please pardon any of their references to the term “senior.” GOOD LUCK!

PKF

© 2019 Paul K. Fox

 

Photo credits in order from Pixabay.com: “sandbox” by RAMillu, “children” by qimono, “doctor” by geralt, “children” by Ben_Kerckx, “young” by vinsky2002, and “wooden-train-toys-train-first-class” by Couleur.

wooden-train-2066492_1920_Couleur