The Myths of Retirement

Dispelling Five Common Misconceptions Involving One of Life’s Greatest Transitions – Perspectives from Gerontologists, Psychologists, Authors, and Other “Retiree Gurus”

 

Throughout my travels presenting at music educator conferences and local workshops, I discover soon-to-retire music teachers and other professionals have many preconceived notions about retirement. I hear the general acceptance of many “myths,” including these five Five Mythsthat seem to be the most prevalent:

  1. You retire FROM something.
  2. It’s an easy transition.
  3. It takes little time to prepare.
  4. It’s completely different from anything you’re doing now.
  5. Retirement is the time to downsize and move.

Let’s “troll the Internet” a little and check-in with a few leading authorities on retirement planning.

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1

You should retire to, not from, something.

“Most people today view retirement as an opportunity to begin a new chapter in their lives, ‘not a time to wind down and move off the playing field,’ says gerontologist Ken Dychtwald, 64, the CEO of Age Wave, a research think-tank on aging issues.”

“They are trying to figure out new ways to be productive. ‘Many are wondering: What can I do with this stage of my life that is perhaps my highest purpose?’ says Dychtwald, who is also a psychologist. He has written 16 books on aging, health, and retirement issues.”

— “How to Reinvent Yourself in Retirement” by Nanci Hellmich, USA TODAY: https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/personalfinance/2014/10/12/five-stages-of-retirement/16975707/

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“You really should retire to something, not just retire from something… Having a notion of what you are retiring to is also a necessary early retirement planning activity. One that everyone should complete.”

“I would say that I just want the freedom to do whatever I want to do. To spend time in the garden, exercise, travel, pursue opportunities that interested me, learn new things, meet new people, etc. I had done the necessary steps of making sure that I had budgeted for my hobbies and our travel wishes. I thought that was enough. However that wasn’t going to occupy all of my retirement days.”

“Now I do want and enjoy free time where there are no obligations just as much as the next guy, but I needed to look at what I was really retiring to so I wouldn’t end up one of those unfortunate retirees who say they are bored and wished they had never retired. That is why you should plan to retire to something, not just retire from something.”

— “Retire To Something,” Leisure Freak Tommy: https://www.leisurefreak.com/non-financial-aspects-of-early-retirement/retire-to-something/

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“Throughout your working years, you have probably viewed your retirement as a destination. It is a goal you are saving for and will hopefully reach one day. But once you reach this destination, then what? ”

“The perception of retirement as a destination may be why some people approach retirement with dread rather than anticipation. They view retirement as a finish line or as the end of the road.”

“But retirement is simply a milestone you pass on your journey. It’s like crossing the border from one state to the next. The road will continue to unfold before you.”

“Your life has changed in countless ways from the time you graduated from school and entered the full-time work force until the present. You have probably changed jobs and perhaps changed careers. You may have lived in numerous places, gotten married and raised a family. Friends have come and gone, your hobbies and interests have evolved and your body has changed.”

“Your retirement could easily last two or three decades. It won’t be a one-dimensional, stagnant state of being. Your life will continue to evolve in many ways after you retire. You may move, the people in your life will continue to shift and you will probably travel to new places and engage in new activities.”

— “Your Retirement is a Journey, Not a Destination” by Dave Hughes, RetireFabulously: http://retirefabulously.com/2017/05/15/your-retirement-is-a-journey-not-a-destination/

 

2

For many, retirement may not be an easy transition.

“50% of retirees will suffer some form of acute emotional distress. This is potentially a very large problem given the fact that 10,000 people are becoming eligible for Social Security every day for the next 20 years in the US alone.”

— Dr. Robert P. Delamontagne in Retiring Mind, Fairview Imprints, 2010: http://www.theretiringmind.com/

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“For some people, retirement planning conjures up images of languid days free from the demands of the daily grind, but for others the prospect of leaving the workforce may be a daunting or even frightening transition.”

“For most, this major milestone will elicit a mixture of emotions that fall somewhere between anticipation and apprehension. Retirement is, in fact, a complex experience for almost everyone, characterized by gains and losses and tremendous shifts in identity and routines.”

“Unless those challenges are addressed and dealt with, the so-called ‘golden years’ can be tarnished,” says Irene Deitch, PhD, psychologist and professor emeritus at the College of Staten Island, City University of New York. “Even those who may have thought they were prepared can find that the transition is tougher once they’re actually in the throes of it.”

—”Eight Ways to Ease into Retirement” by Katherine Lee, Everyday Health: https://www.everydayhealth.com/longevity/future-planning/happy-retirement.aspx

3

Preparation to retirement is essential for you and your family members.

“Most gerontologists agree that a period of adjustment will occur during the first years of “interning” as a retiree. Even more crucial is the “pre-retirement” or “imagination” stage of retirement, involving your preparation six to ten years prior to “taking the big leap” to FREEDOM!”

“Have you considered a few ‘terms of transformation’ below that are all-to-common to soon-to-be-retirees undergoing that life-changing transition to ‘living their dream?’ How should you unravel these “conundrums” or mysteries of transitioning to retirement?

  • Self-Identity and Change
  • Free Time
  • Energy and Fortitude
  • Losing Control and Perpetual Care”

“The only solution to ‘softening the blow’ of the possible turmoil and incongruity brought on at this time is to follow the Boy Scout rule… BE PREPARED.”

“According to TIPS Retirement for Music Educators by Verne A. Wilson (MENC 1989), at least three years before you leave your full-time employment:

  1. Sit down with your spouse if you are married (and other family members) and plan ahead carefully.
  2. Decide when you want to retire. Estimate as accurately as possible what your economic situation will be after you retire.
  3. Decide where you want to live after you retire. This means not just the neighborhood, city, or state, but also the kind and style of residence… retirement community, one-floor ranch, apartment, etc.
  4. Set some goals regarding how you want to spend your retirement time. Focus on your talents and abilities instead of looking at the handicaps that may come with the aging process.
  5. Be prepared for “change” and learn how to accept it, and be willing to embrace new opportunities for personal growth, flexibility, and adaptability.
  6. Be sure your intentions are clearly stated in writing (wills, power of attorneys, living wills, etc.)”

— “New Dreams and Horizons” by Paul K. Fox and other sources: https://paulkfoxusc.wordpress.com/2017/08/03/new-dreams-and-horizons/

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“Prior to retiring, you should make a concerted effort to prepare for ‘life after work,’ including:

  • Cultivate interests outside work
  • Lead a healthier lifestyle
  • Revitalize family relationships
  • Spend more time with spouse
  • Embrace spirituality or meditation
  • Nurture friendships and make new friends”

— “Retire Happy: What You Can Do Now to Guarantee a Great Retirement” by Richard Stim and Ralph Warner, USA TODAY/Nolo Series: https://www.amazon.com/dp/141330835X/ref=rdr_ext_tmb

 

4

Retirement may or may not be completely different to what you are doing right now.

“Many people want to continue to work. In fact, 72% of pre-retirees, age 50 and older, say they want to keep working after they retire, according to a recent survey sponsored by Merrill Lynch in partnership with Age Wave. Almost half (47%) of current retirees either are working, have worked, or plan to work in retirement, the survey found.”

— “Work in Retirement: Myths and Motivations,” by Merrill Lynch in partnership with Agewave: https://agewave.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/2014-ML-AW-Work-in-Retirement_Myths-and-Motivations.pdf

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“Planning for retirement may require a focus on self-management throughout a person’s career, according to a model of career development by psychologist Harvey Sterns, PhD, the director of the Institute for Life-Span Development and Gerontology at the University of Akron.

“No two retirees are the same and multiple pathways exist to get from work to retirement.”

“There is no right way to retire,” Sterns says. “Many people think retirement is wonderful, and for people who want to retire, that’s the right thing to do. If they don’t want to, that’s the right thing, too.”

“After 26 years as a counseling psychology professor at the University of Maryland, Nancy K. Schlossberg, EdD, was ready to retire. But she was hardly ready to slow down. She looked forward to having more flexibility and freedom in her schedule to explore other interests. Still, there was the question of what her new identity would be…”

“Retirement can take many forms, Schlossberg notes. In fact, she identified the following six based on her interviews with about 100 retirees:

  • Continuers stay connected with past skills and activities, but modify them to fit retirement, such as through volunteering or part-time work in their former field.
  • Adventurers start new activities or learn new skills not related to their past work, such as learning to play the piano or taking on an entirely new job.
  • Searchers learn by trial and error as they look for a niche; they have yet to find their identity in retirement.
  • Easy gliders enjoy unscheduled time and like their daily schedule “to go with the flow.”
  • Involved spectators maintain an interest in their previous field of work but assume different roles, such as a lobbyist who becomes a news junkie.
  • Retreaters become depressed, retreat from life and give up on finding a new path–the only negative path in Schlossberg’s classification.”

“The path retirees choose after retirement isn’t necessarily the path they stay on either, Schlossberg says.”

“It’s an evolving part of your career development,” Schlossberg explains. “And the longer you live, the more your path will shift and change.”

— “A New Face to Retirement” by Melissa Dittman, American Psychological Association: http://www.apa.org/monitor/nov04/retirement.aspx

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“After the last school bell rings, retired teachers have a leg up. Opportunities cut a broad swath from tutoring to substitute teaching to jobs a little further afield, such as fitness training.”

“Teachers have a combination of tools in their kit that many retirees don’t — solid degree credentials, expertise in a specific field and a passion for helping people learn something new.”

— “Great Jobs for Retired Teachers” by Kerry Hannon, AARP: https://www.aarp.org/work/working-after-retirement/info-04-2011/jobs-for-retired-teachers.1.html

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“Most teachers spend their first year of “retirement” decompressing from the full-time teaching gig. It’s that special time you’ve looked forward to for years. You do some traveling, catch up on all those books you never had time to read, and just relax. Your days are free of ringing bells and reports. Plus, you get to spend a much larger part of your day in your pajamas. Yay! You earned it. You know you’ve arrived when Labor Day stops feeling like D-Day.”

“After a year or so, however, you may start to realize you actually miss working. Not that you miss the standardized tests, parent conferences and grade reports. But something in that work stimulated you in a way nothing else comes close to doing. Perhaps you miss the pleasure you felt creating learning units, or the joy of introducing students to a new author, or the collaborative bonds with fellow teachers. These were true enjoyments and now they are gone.”

“Once you’ve decompressed sufficiently, you might want to consider doing a career redesign. Unlike many other careerists, retired teachers have the freedom and the financial ability to put together a ‘second-act’ career, tailored to the life they want. Keep in mind, U.S. pension policies have restrictions on post-retirement income, so keep a close check on those caps.”

“If you’re feeling ready to begin again, here are ten opportunities you should definitely consider.

  1. Tutoring
  2. Specialized Test Prep
  3. College Application Support
  4. College Adjunct Teaching
  5. Career and Life Coach
  6. Tour Guide
  7. Writing and Editing
  8. Educational Consulting
  9. Translator
  10. International Schools”

— “Ten Great Encore Careers for Retired Teachers” by Peter Spellman, Nextcalling: https://nextcalling.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/10-Great-%E2%80%98Encore-Careers%E2%80%99-for-Retired-Teachers.pdf

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“We were fortunate to have Dr. John V. D’Ascenzo join the PMEA Retired Member Coordinator at the PMEA Summer Conference, assisting on the session “Retirement 101 – Retiree Stories and Strategies,” which was held on July 17-18, 2018 at the Red Lion Hotel in Harrisburg, PA.”

“John provided a lot of interesting perceptions and coping tips for the “soon-to-retire!” He shared new segments for consideration with references.”

“The evaluating of personal and professional paths prior to and at the time of retirement leads to behavioral changes that promote positive outcomes (Krawulski, de Oliviera Cruz, Medina, Boehs & de Toledo, 2017). Activities would include:

  • Giving and/or receiving education/training.
  • Volunteering roles: leadership, followership
  • Pursue different career paths for remuneration or gratis.”

Retired Member Network eNEWS, August 2, 2018: https://www.pmea.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Retired-Member-Network-eNEWS-080218.pdf

 

5

Retirement may or may not be the time to pull-up stakes and move from your current residence.

“The US Census Bureau reports that 49 out of 50 people over the age of 65 stay right where they are when they retire.”

“If your current hometown is affordable, close to friends and family, and near activities and entertainment you most enjoy, why move for the sake of moving? Instead, consider whether the need for change can be satisfied through more frequent brief vacations, or by purchasing an inexpensive weekend getaway home.”

— “Fine Out Where You Should Retire” by Melissa Phipps, The Balance: https://www.thebalance.com/where-should-i-retire-2894254

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My next blog for this “Retirement Resources” forum will investigate this subject more closely and pose the questions, “Where Should I Retire?” and “What are the three most important factors to consider before choosing your retirement destination?”

Retirees: Do you have YOUR favorite “myth in retirement?” Please share. (Click on “comment” near the top of this article.) We would love to hear from you!

Otherwise, stay tuned for additional thoughts and tips on preparing a happy transition to retirement. You are also invited to revisit past blog-posts at this site: https://paulkfoxusc.wordpress.com/for-retirees/.

PKF

© 2018 Paul K. Fox

Photo credits (in order) from Pixabay.com: “emotional” by werner22brigitte, “knit” by foundry, “grandma” by fujidreams,”senior” by RitaE, “fisherman” by paulbr75, “old couple” by MonicaVolpin, “trumpet-player” by Hans, “fashion” by skeeze, “violin” by niekverlaan, “artist” by imaginart, “guitarist” by SplitShire, and “cottage” by MonikaDesigns.

 

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New Dreams and Horizons

“Self-Realization” ― The Key to Resolving Retirement “Conundrums”

Most gerontologists agree that a period of adjustment will occur during the first years of “interning” as a retiree. Even more crucial is the “pre-retirement” or “imagination” stage of retirement – (see https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/personalfinance/2014/10/12/five-stages-of-retirement/16975707/ or http://www.investopedia.com/articles/retirement/07/sixstages.asp…) involving your preparation six to ten years prior to “taking the big leap” to FREEDOM!

Have you considered a few “terms of transformation” below that are all-to-common to soon-to-be-retirees undergoing that life-changing transition to “living their dream?” How should you unravel these “conundrums” or mysteries of transitioning to retirement?

  • Self-Identity and Change
  • Free Time
  • Energy and Fortitude
  • Losing Control and Perpetual Care

The only solution to “softening the blow” of the possible turmoil and incongruity brought on at this time is to follow the Boy Scout rule… BE PREPARED.

Tips Retirement for Music EducatorsThat means, according to TIPS Retirement for Music Educators by Verne A. Wilson (MENC 1989), at least three years before you leave your full-time employment:

  1. Sit down with your spouse if you are married (and other family members) and plan ahead carefully.
  2. Decide when you want to retire. Estimate as accurately as possible what your economic situation will be after you retire.
  3. Decide where you want to live after you retire. This means not just the neighborhood, city, or state, but also the kind and style of residence… retirement community, one-floor ranch, apartment, etc.
  4. Set some goals regarding how you want to spend your retirement time. Focus on your talents and abilities instead of looking at the handicaps that may come with the aging process.
  5. Be prepared for “change” and learn how to accept it, and be willing to embrace new opportunities for personal growth, flexibility, and adaptability.
  6. Be sure your intentions are clearly stated in writing (wills, power of attorneys, living wills, etc.)

Now, to define your “life’s goals” and anticipate several of the “big issues,” read on!

SELF-IDENTITY & CHANGE: Who am I?

The prep and passage to your “golden years” is the perfect time to a little self-reinvention based on self-assessment towards finding purpose, meaning, fulfillment in your life. There are many publications that promote personality and interest surveys to point you in the right direction and help synchronize your goals with your spouse, “significant other,” other family members.

the_retiring_mind_coverRobert Delamontagne writes in detail about using the enneagram as an evaluative tool in Honey, I’m Home: How to Prevent or Resolve Marriage Conflicts Caused by Retirement (Fairview Imprints, 2011) and The Retiring Mind: How to Make the Psychological Transition to Retirement (Fairview Imprints, 2010).

The definition of enneagram is “a system of classifying personality types that is based on a nine-pointed star-like figure inscribed within a circle in which each of the nine points represents a personality type and its psychological motivations (such as the need to be right or helpful) influencing a person’s emotions, attitudes, and behavior.” And now, the essential question: Are you and your spouse or significant-other “compatible” and facing your retirement future “on the same page?”

I have come to learn that different people process life-changing events in various ways, depending on their personality type. You slam a hard-charging personality type with an achievement addiction into an unplanned, downsized retirement life and you won’t see stress like this unless you invested your retirement money with Bernie Madoff.

― Robert Delamontagne in The Retiring Mind: How to Make the Psychological Transition to Retirement

enneagramDelamontagne labels the characteristics of each E-Type. After reading his book, which ones are closest to resembling you and your spouse?

  • E-Type 1: The Master
  • E-Type 2: The Enchanter
  • E-Type 3: The Star
  • E-Type 4: The Drama Queen
  • E-Type 5: The Solitary Mystic
  • E-Type 6: The Closet Rebel
  • E-Type 7: The Cruise Director
  • E-Type 8: The Conquistador
  • E-Type 9: The Harmonizer

Approaching it from an individual retiree’s quest for self-reinvention in their book Shifting Gears to Your Life & Work After Retirement (New Cabady Press, 2013), Dr. Carolee Duckworth and Dr. Marie Langworthy offer self-assessments and analyses with the four-letter personality type code in Chapter 6: “Reinvent Yourself” (see the Myers-Briggs Personality/Cognitive Style Inventory Test at http://www.personalitypathways.com/type_inventory.html and TypeLogic Profiles at http://typelogic.com/index.html) followed by the Interest Profiler in Chapter 7: “Rediscover Your Work” (see https://www.cacareerzone.org/ip).

shifting gears bookcoverOn their book jacket, Duckworth and Langworthy promote their work as “a call to action on your own behalf” to:

  • Jump start your newly invented personal and professional retirement ― your Next Phase life and work.
  • Create your own custom road-map to how Baby Boomer YOU will live your last and BEST personal opus, with vitality, enthusiasm, and enjoyment.

These sections from their reading were also very interesting to review: the 10-point Retirement Countdown, 7 “What Comes Next” Pathways, a 5-Step Process to Create Your Retirement, and 5 Major Types of Retirement Work Options.

In a similar fashion, before you finish the first three dozen pages of The Joy of Retirement, authors David C. Borchard and Patricia A. Donahoe introduce the Life Vitality Assessment and a Transition Readiness – Change Aversion vs. Attraction poll to assist in your self-analysis.

The book develops the “Core Themes for Your New Life,” with the hopes to assist you in re-creating a new life involving the following four phases:

  1. Envisioning the nature of the kind of future you desire.
  2. Articulating that picture into the written word.
  3. Claiming your passion once you are clear about what it is.
  4. Developing a plan or a map for getting where you want to go and for achieving who you want to be.

Joy of Retirement bookcoverLife Themes Profiler, a comprehensive assessment tool developed by David Borchard and laid out initially in Chapter 4, will help you understand and graph the retirement themes and “your intentions for the next chapter of your life.”

They say that 50 is the new 40. If you’re over 50, chances are you feel more vital, energetic, and passionate than ever. While you may be ready to retire, you may not be ready to stop working entirely. These days, life after work no longer conjures up images of couples wandering the malls, playing golf, and taking endless Caribbean cruises. As baby boomers reach their 50s and 60s, they are re-defining what it means to retire. What they want is joy, vitality, and meaning in their lives.

― Back cover of The Joy of Retirement

At the very least, these book resources may open-up new pathways to define your values, personality, temperament, and what may “float your boat” in selecting future service projects, “encore careers,” and hobbies.

Now, get busy on these and “the rest of your life!”

 

FREE TIME: Where do all of our hours go?

There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.

― Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

It’s a good thing I have that Calendar app on my phone, or I would never remember all of the unique, non-repetitive, and less predictable appointments that I make as a retiree.

ZelinskiObviously, fulfilling your “bucket lists” and goals will influence the structure of your daily/weekly schedule.  According to Ernie Zelinski, with or without “a job,”  you need to find a “work-life balance” and devote equal time to these essential priorities:

  • Job or Volunteer Work
  • Family, Relationships
  • Friends and Colleagues
  • Community Activities
  • Self Care – Sports/Exercise
  • Religious/Spiritual Philosophical Concerns
  • Hobbies/Interests
  • Future Plans/Projects

In his book, How to Retire Happy, Wild and Free (Ten Speed Press 2016), Zelinski lays out his “plan” for finding purpose (and prioritize time) in his life:

  • To make a difference in people’s lives
  • To make a contribution
  • To find creative expression
  • To take part in discovery and challenge
  • To help preserve the environment
  • To accomplish or achieve a challenging task
  • To improve health and well-being

Design Your Dream Retirement Cover-slanted-with-shadowDave Hughes echoes these sentiments with his “four essential ingredients for a balanced life” in the book Design Your Dream Retirement: How to Envision, Plan for, and Enjoy the Best Retirement Possible (2015):

  1. Physical activity
  2. Mental stimulation
  3. Social interaction
  4. Personal fulfillment

Watch out for what I will call “the caretaker’s anchor.” One of the greatest things you can do in retirement is to surround yourself with young people… As many wise people have said, “They will keep you forever young!” However, unless you want it to be the primary focus of your life, your babysitting duties should not take over your entire retirement schedule. It is easy for your love ones to assume that since you no longer have a full-time job, you can assume the responsibility of serving as the “safety net” or even the number one full-time caregiver for your grandchildren and grandnieces.

Several additional time management tips:

  1. If you are married, synchronize your schedule with your spouse.
  2. Set aside at least 30-45 minutes a day for sustained physical activity.
  3. Avoid watching more than an hour and a half of television per day. Experts say this is not healthy.
  4. shiny-brain-1150907-1Do something every day that will expand your mind, stimulate your intellect, or increase your curiosity quotient.
  5. Hobbies that focus on self-expression or other creative pursuits are best enjoyed in the morning when you are fresh. You might consider doing your music warmups, practicing, composing, writing, painting, etc. ― anything that requires firing up your artistic “right brain”― before lunch and prior to your appointments, chores, and shopping. Besides, if it’s something you really look forward to doing, it will help motivate you to get out of bed early in the morning.
  6. Get enough sleep. Believe it or not, many retirees have re-occurring bouts of insomnia. Check out “Retirement Insomnia” by Claire N. Barnes at HUFFPOSThttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/claire-n-barnes-ma/retirement-insomnia_b_6395998.html.

It’s 3 a.m. and I’m awake! How many of you boomers have this experience? As the Inspirement journey continues, I have been surprised to learn how common insomnia is among retirees. Forget all the advice suggesting that when you retire, you can sleep more (or longer…. or later). The practical reality is a large percentage of retirees experience insomnia or sleep difficulties.

whatever clockAlthough the exact number of boomers and seniors who experience sleep problems is hard to pinpoint, a national study of our aging population suggests nearly 42 percent of those surveyed have sleep difficulties. That figure is beyond an epidemic.

― Claire N. Barnes

 

ENERGY & FORTITUDE: What happened to my stamina and endurance?

Participating in several extra-curricular programs (marching band, fall play, after-school strings, spring musical, etc.), my hectic music teacher weekday work routine began at school around 6:30 a.m., and often I did not make it home until after 9:30 p.m. Since retiring in 2013, I volunteer at the hospital several days a week pushing patients in wheelchairs (with some of our discharges weighing over 300 pounds!). Considering that 15 hours use to be my daily norm, I keep asking myself: “What’s up with my needing to take a ‘power nap’ after only three hours of a moderate physical activity?”

Aerobic activities, strength training and flexibility exercises can help retirees preserve muscle and bone mass, feel young and be better able to do the activities of daily living, such as putting items on shelves and even holding the grand-kids.

― Felicia Stoler, registered dietitian and exercise physiologist in Holmdel, N.J.

running-in-the-morning-1538848 Patrick NijhuisRegular physical activity is a must. Quoting from a future article I plan to submit to the state journal of Pennsylvania Music Educators Association PMEA News: “The definition of ‘exercise,’ especially in order to receive cardiovascular benefits, is to raise your heart rate for 30 minutes or more. Leaving your La-Z-Boy to let the dogs out or looking for the remote does not count!”

Actually, taking the dogs out for a long walk may be a good idea, but you need to move at a fast pace. Stopping to talk to the neighbors down the street or allowing the pups to slow down and sniff every bush, may not bring the health benefits you desire.

The best tip prior to adopting an exercise program in retirement is to see your doctor.

Here are a few Internet resources:

 

LOSING CONTROL & PERPETUAL CARE:  Should we expect our children to take care of us in our old age?

helping-the-elderly-1437135 melodi2This final category of “pre-retirement planning” has everything to do with living with independence and security as we grow older. Many Baby Boomers just starting their retirement journey may not actually see this as “a big deal” right now. However, developing a long term “backup plan” for maintaining our health care, mobility, and comfortable living is critical. Again… we must think ahead!

As a “senior” with no children, nephews, or nieces, I again seek the advice of experts.

First, visit Kathy Merlino’s recent blog for a good introduction on this subject, especially as it applies to your children becoming the adult caregivers: https://kathysretirementblog.com/2017/07/23/should-your-kids-take-care-of-you/.

She is very eloquent in her “independent-living manifesto”― being actively involved in her children’s lives but NOT leaving them the ultimate chore of “taking care of mom!”

The primary reason for my planning for independence is my children. I’d like for them to live unfettered with my care. They have their own lives, spouses, children and now, my oldest daughter, has her very first grandchild. Taking care of myself is the best gift I can give them…

We, as parents, should never expect our kids to resign from their lives to care for us. It is up to us to care for us. We owe it to our children to stay physically active, to eat a healthy diet, to pursue our passions, to stay mentally sharp, to develop a community of friends of our own, to stay spiritually true to ourselves. And, if necessary, live in an assisted living community. That is the best legacy we can leave them.

― Kathy Merlino

Consumer Reports offers an excellent online article “Healthy Aging in Your 80s and Beyond – 5 Tips to a Long, Healthy Life,” recapping the above advice on physical fitness and offering a few recommendations on how to live independently:  https://www.consumerreports.org/cro/magazine/2014/06/healthy-aging-into-your-80s-and-beyond/index.htm.

Consumer Reports logoFifty-five percent of our respondents wanted to stay in their own homes, with help as needed, as they got older and required more care. But a recent AARP survey revealed that only about half of older adults thought their homes could accommodate them “very well” as they age; twelve percent said “not well” or “not well at all.”

“The time to think about your housing options is when you first retire and are relatively healthy and young,” said Linda Fodrini-­Johnson, a geriatric-care manager in Walnut Creek, Calif. “You need to think realistically about the things that might happen over the next 20 years.”

Consumer Reports, June 2014 issue

I like a few additional resources on the web:

romanticism-1309299 Claudia Meyer

CONCLUSION ― Food for Thought!

Gerontologists like Ken Dychtwald and Robert Atchley contribute loads of research and recommendations for the “imagination” (pre-retirement), “anticipation,” and “liberation” stages of retirement. They provide the basis for all the concern and rush to reflect on senior self-realization and dodge anticipated problems we may encounter during this period. One quote from TIPS Retirement for Music Educators by Verne A. Wilson sums up the need for a concerted effort in “advance planning” to enjoy and find meaning in your post-employment “new dreams and horizons!” Conquer your own retiree “conundrums!”

If you were planning to spend the rest of your life in another country, you would want to learn as much about it as possible. You would read books about the climate, people, history, and architecture. You would talk to people who had lived there. You might even learn a bit of its language. Old age is like another country. You’ll enjoy it more if you have prepared yourself before you go.

― B. F. Skinner and Margaret Vaughn in TIPS Retirement for Music Educators

 

PKF

© 2017 Paul K. Fox

Photo credits from FreeImages.com (in order): “Sunset Years” by Bill Davenport, “Shiny Brain” by artM, “Running in the Morning” by Patrick Nijhuis, “Helping the Elderly” by Melodi2, and “Romanticism” by Claudia Meyer