Random Terms Re: Retirement Transitioning
The “new” definition of retirement includes a unique collection of synonyms. Gone are the designations “seclusion,” “privacy,” “withdrawal,” “retreating” and “disappearing” based on archaic models of retiring when the average life expectancy at birth in the 1800s was 38 and in the 1900s was 47. (Merriam-Webster and others still show these words on their online dictionaries!) Now, some of the more creative descriptors for retirement are “renewment,” “rewirement,” “rest-of-life,” “second beginnings,” and “reinvention.” (Also see http://www.cbsnews.com/news/how-do-you-define-retirement/.)
In addition to these, there are a few nontraditional terms that may come up during the passage from full-time employment to “living the dream” (hopefully) in retirement. These will not show up in a typical book for retirees… but, understanding them can “make a difference” through this roller-coaster ride of coping with life-style changes/altered expectations, and finding creative new ways to self-reinvent and thrive.
Marginality and Mattering
Do you feel “needed” and “making a difference” to others? The definition of “mattering” is “the belief that we matter to someone else.” This is an essential part of what author Ernie Zelinski of the best-seller Retire Happy, Wild, and Free emphasizes the importance of “finding purpose, structure, and community in retirement.”
“It has been suggested that one problem of retirement is that one no longer matters; others no longer depend on us… The reward of retirement, involving a surcease from labor, can be the punishment of not mattering. Existence loses its point and savor when one no longer makes a difference.” – Rosenberg and McCullough Quoted in Revitalizing Retirement: Reshaping Your Identity, Relationships, and Purpose by Nancy Schlossberg (APA, 2017)
According to counseling psychologist Nancy Schlossberg, Rosenberg’s concept of “mattering” is “a universal, lifelong issue that connects us all.” Her four dimensions of mattering are:
- Attention – the feeling that a person has the interest of another;
- Importance – the feeling that others care about what you want, think, and do;
- Ego-Extension – the feeling that others will be proud of your successes and/or saddened by your failures;
- Dependence – the feeling that a person can depend on someone else.
Although initially attributed to collegiate retention, persistence and “getting students connected” (https://sites.google.com/site/uscedco030/Home/theorist-pages/marginality-mattering-and-validation-theory-nancy-schlossberg-laura-rendon/schlossberg), Schlossberg defines “maginality” as “a sense of not fitting in” and which “can lead to self consciousness, irritability and depression. For some, these feelings can be permanent conditions.” Furthermore, “feelings of marginality often occur when individuals take on new roles, especially when they are uncertain about what a new role entails.”
Just like the sometimes tumultuous passage to and emotional ups-and-downs during your “life after the work?”
PTSD
What does “post-traumatic stress disorder” have to do with leaving your job? Hopefully it does not apply to you, but…
If are among the surprisingly large number of music teachers who lost their job “involuntarily,” you may be undergoing the same “stages of grief and loss” often shared during the breakup of a marriage or the dealth of a loved one:
- Denial (disbelief, numbness, shock)
- Bargaining (preoccupation with “what could have been,” guilt, remorse)
- Depression (sadness, loneliness, emptiness, isolation, self-pity)
- Anger (feelings of helplessness, abandonment)
- Acceptance (emotional resolution, healing)
Feeling you were “kicked to the curb,” “downsized,” “minimized,” or somehow “forced” to resign or retire comes from many scenarios:
- Music or staff are eliminated from the curriculum or building in which you teach.
- You feel you must retire early before the end of the contract to avoid losing existing medical or other contractual benefits.
- While voluntarily retiring from the full-time “day” job, you hope to continue serving in the capacity as assistant director (marching band, musical, etc.), but are not re-assigned or asked to return.
- The new head coach of the sport in which you have assisted for many years fires you to bring in his “cronies.”
- The perception that the program to which you have devoted your whole career is being dissembled or de-emphasized for the next “flavor-of-the-year.”
Most mental health experts agree, you cannot self-diagnose PTSD. However, the “warning signs” are probably evident. If you are having trouble sleeping, difficulty with relationships, or find yourself feeling significantly depressed or lethargic, visit your health care professional.
Losing old habits…
“Surrendering your urge to be an agent of change!”
The next retiree concept is more of a habit or tendency, something that those of us who retired from education may find it a little hard to stop doing at first. Among the core values of “moral professionalism,” we consistently seek ways to reform “the system,” much like efficiency experts. In other words, “break it if it needs fixed,” or seek new practices or approaches to solve problems. This means we seldom accept the status quo or “that’s the way it’s always have been done.”
I found that in my volunteer work, when I come up to a challenge like a policy that isn’t working, I look for better ways of doing it. Teachers always self-assess and seek changes for “the good of the order,” but these “systems” are not our classrooms. Educators were expected to “monitor and adjust,” modify our lesson targets, rip down old bulletin boards and put up new with more exciting media, re-write curriculum, etc. – always with the mission to “build a better mouse trap” for more efficient delivery of instruction to all.
In retirement, this can be frustrating. You can’t tell somebody else how to run their operation. Some people do not want to hear criticism, nor do they care what your opinion is, nor do they want to change their traditions or fine-tuned (?) step-by-step procedures. You on the other hand want things to improve, e.g. better training, more consistent application of the rules, etc., and therefore you feel “unrequited stress.”
Throughout my whole “professional life,” I never looked the other way. I try to fix things. But that’s not everybody’s inclination, and the world is not going to come to end if someone doesn’t take your advice. As retirees, remove the unnecessary hassle. You have two choices. Resign from the activity, or step back from being its self-appointed critic, accept the situation, and let everyone go back to playing their own way in their “sandbox.”
Caregivers anchor
Many retirees choose to be part- or full-time caregivers, perhaps babysitting or serving as the custodian of a senior family member.
If you are fortunate enough to have grandchildren (your own or adopted ones), enjoy them! Your generous super-competent daycare services may provide ever-so-essential attention to your loved-ones. “Playing with the kids” is wonderful for your own mood, perspective, and mental health. And, how many times have I heard the sage advice to “immerse yourself around young people and you will stay forever young!”
However, invest your time wisely. Retirees deserve a life of their own and opportunities for unstructured “time-off.” Don’t forget the other items on your “bucket lists” (like travel, “encore career,” and volunteering). Serving as your family’s childcare “safety net” is nice, but don’t let this schedule dominate everything you do in your retirement… trading one job for another… with no financial compensation (but a whole lot of fun, I know).
Sometimes the responsibility of taking care of an elderly family member comes to you unexpectedly (like an ill parent or grandparent). When this “all-encompassing” duty is thrust upon you, it may consume every free moment in your schedule.
This excellent advice is from the blog-site “A Place for Mom.”
Many of us do end up deciding to become family caregivers, a demanding role that often includes advocating for your loved one, coordinating providers, and performing home medical care tasks.
In fact, over 65.7 million Americans currently provide care for a family member or loved one, according to the National Alliance for Caregiving, and 36% of those are caring for an elderly parent.
Being prepared for the role of caregiver means taking a lot of different factors into consideration. You will need to ask yourself hard questions about how your own availability and care-giving capabilities will affect your ability to provide effective care — for your loved one and yourself.
– https://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/2-24-14-caregiver-questions-to-as/
Several of the “big questions” from their site:
- Am I financially prepared for the extra costs of care-giving?
- Am I really capable of taking care of Dad or Mom all by myself?
- Do I have the social support and resources I’m going to need?
- How will care-giving affect my physical and mental health?
- Will I be able to make time for myself and my family?
Again, that focus on “first things first” (remember the book of the same name by Stephen Covey?) and “take care of yourself, too!”
In her book In A Different Voice (Harvard University Press), author Carol Gilligan describes the philosophy of moral development based on “evolving steps of caring.”
- Decisions based solely on care for their needs. (GOOD)
- Decisions based on care for the needs of others. (BETTER)
- Decisions based on care for themselves and others. (THE BEST)
As mentioned in a previous blog, we could all hope to prescribe to Kathy Merlino’s “independent-living manifesto” ― being actively involved in her children’s lives, but NOT leaving them the ultimate chore of “taking care of mom!”
“Stressed over the season”
- http://blog.csa.us/2017/11/de-stress-holidays-for-caregivers-and.html
- http://dailycaring.com/caregiver-holiday-stress-guide-6-best-articles-for-managing-stress/
- https://www.rush.edu/health-wellness/discover-health/holiday-grief-and-stress
Also, although I wrote my own blogs about “the happiest time of the year,” (see https://paulkfoxusc.wordpress.com/2015/11/29/tips-for-retirees-on-managing-stress-during-the-coming-winter-celebrations/ and https://paulkfoxusc.wordpress.com/2015/12/22/random-acts-and-other-resolutions/, I found more wisdom re: “stress for seniors.”
- http://www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/841461/5-tips-for-helping-seniors-manage-holiday-stress
- https://www.caregiverstress.com/stress-management/relief-tips/help-seniors-overcome-holiday-stress-4-tips/
- https://www.clearcareonline.com/blog/family-caregiving/reducing-holiday-stress-for-seniors/
Best wishes for you and yours to enjoy the festive season and a Happy New Year!
PKF
© 2017 Paul K. Fox
Even though it is from a book on post-employment transitioning (Purposeful Retirement: How to Bring Happiness and Meaning to Your Retirement), the author Hyrum W. Smith suggests several thought-provoking questions on prioritizing time:
Yours truly, a “late baby boomer,” never enjoyed that prophesied and romanticized revolution of a “paperless society.” Did you? PM recommends the creation of a “future reading” file, a subcategory of “date it.” Experts on Google Mail will extol the merits of creating a folder and categorizing/storing messages such as emailed issues of MEJ, Kappan, SB&O, and other digital editions of professional newsletters. I have found that this doesn’t work very well, even in retirement. The file folder just fills up, and I never seem to get around to reviewing the things I thought were so important to save. Nor did the practice of our grandmothers’ generation clipping articles (and coupons) out of newspapers. You would think you could solve this media overload by just printing a small excerpt of what you want to peruse later and putting it in a letter tray near your desk? Nope. It just piles up! However, probably the ideal solution would be to designate a specific 15 minutes or more every day for something they used to give to the middle school students I taught: “silent and sustained reading.”
How many times have you heard it? Make your plans and goals “intentional!” Besides all of the upcoming deadlines and appointments to which you are committed, include in your daily and weekly schedule opportunities for individual reflection and growth.
in response to feeling a little “stressed over the schedule” could be to “get used to the 24/7 nature of the job.” A music teacher works from sun-up (and before) to sun-down (and after), and constantly has to juggle multi-tasking on a wide variety of to-do’s, all landing at the same time: writing lesson plans, arranging music or drills, preparing scores or accompaniments, planning and rehearsing ensembles, managing the grade book and attendance records, attending faculty meetings and parent conferences, writing curriculum, student assessments, and lesson targets, preparing for extra-curricular activities like marching band, chorus, or the musical, finishing your own homework for graduate courses, district inductions, or professional development assignments, ETC.
What is the moral to the final story of these two racers… the turtle and the rabbit?
into the “TEAM.”
Educators are among the singular professions which have a “fiduciary” responsibility. The term “fiduciary” can be defined as “a person or organization that owes to another the duties of good faith and trust, the highest legal duty of one party to another, and being bound ethically to act in the other’s best interests.” Joining doctors, lawyers, clergy, and mental health therapists, educators ascribe to the highest standards of training, moral decision-making (“code of ethics”), behavior (“code of conduct”), and self-regulation and assessment of the “best practices” regarding the mastery of skills and subject areas necessary to their field. However, unlike these other professionals, teachers do not receive regular and systematic pre- and in-service training on ethics, and our “clients” are a “captive audience.” Regardless, the duty of all teachers is to act as a fiduciary in their students’ best interest and to create and maintain a safe environment for them at all times.
Always looking for the signs of…
Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) of 1996 provides data privacy and security provisions for safeguarding medical information.
Proponents of this belief will tell you to go ahead and stick your neck out, feel free to do something “for the good of the order,” and later “beg for forgiveness” if/when it goes south and your administrators say they do not approve.
My advice: “Forget your rights” and be more aware of your image and how your actions will look to the public. Reputations are hard to restore. Being an effective teacher is all about trust and integrity, and (sorry, one more cliche) “your actions speak louder than words!”
PSERS (PA pension fund) Planning: 12 months or more away from your projected retirement date, attend a “Foundations for Your Future” program (even attend it more than once), and request a retirement estimate (form PSRS-151), after which you will need to schedule the all-important “Exit Counseling Session.”
Instrument lessons and orchestra practices provide opportunities for the music teacher to impart a few “tricks of the trade” in reading and then practicing music. I call these my “Craftsmen Tools” for successful musical construction… one note or one line of music at a time.
At lessons, some music teachers refer to batting averages, and point out how a .333 baseball hitting average is outstanding in the Major Leagues (when big-league pitchers are throwing 90-mile hour balls at you), but terrible for a musician who plays one note right to two notes wrong. Since each practice session builds neural-connections across brain cells (physical “memory” to do the skill again), in order to “play it right” consistently, we have to repeat it accurately over and over again, thus “the Ten Times Rule.” Musicians have to achieve a .950 or better average, and practicing their challenging musical “slice” ten times in a row will do the most good. Cumulative effort over different sessions or days is also the key to success! If a hard passage is played 10-20 times today, repeated 10-20 times tomorrow, another set of 10-20 drills the next day, etc. until the part can be played perfectly “in a row” every time, the player will have NO WORRIES when it comes time to perform it at the concert.
Administrators, parents and public’s interpretation of “separation of church and state” or “perceived emphasis” on Holiday vs. Christmas music (with sacred text) at December concerts e.g. Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus, Hatikvah, and/or John Rutter’s Oh Come All Ye Faithful & Joy to the World as the finale
Competition for the enrollment of the same students (band/string/choir) within the music department
If you have not had the occasion to read Case Studies in Music Education by Frank Abrahams and Paul D. Head, it would be a valuable aid to “facilitate dialogue, problem posing, and problem solving” among pre-service (and current) music teachers. Using the format of Introduction, Exposition, Development, Improvisation, and Recapitulation known by all music professionals, each chapter presents a scenario with a moral dilemma that many music educators face in the daily execution of their teaching responsibilities.
For additional examples of ethical issues in education, try these links. Personally, many of these fictional video reenactments are hardcore and very painful to view… but may shed some light in any discussion of teacher (mis)behavior: actions from simply inappropriate, unwise, or “bad for appearances” to a range (from bad to worst) of unprofessional, immoral, unethical, and illegal conduct. Some of these stories you will agree should be instantly labeled as the highest degree of unethical practice ― actual “crimes against children” and should invoke punishment if found guilty ― while others may lack clarity and make it difficult in arriving to a consensus.
Many have suggested that there has been a decline in moral standards that have contributed to ethical disputes in modern society (and in the public schools). Some say that this is attributed to a breakdown or lessening of the influence of organized religion and family values. “When Cultures Shift,” an excellent article in the New York Times (April 17, 2015), David Brooks explores some of causes and effects of this “slip” to our value systems, ethics, and renewed focus on self:
Do schools, not necessarily families, serve as the “safety net” for socializing its citizens, and teaching morality, manners, and the values of human relationships? Are teachers held to a higher standard of behavior in order to model these principles and charged with the responsibility of indoctrinating the meaning of “right and wrong” and how to get along with each other? Many would seem to agree, including sample codes of ethics for teachers and this from Robert Fulghum 
In Essays on Moral Development: The Philosophy of Moral Development (New York: Harper Collins 1981), Lawrence Kohlberg illustrates his “Six Stages of Moral Development” from ethical decisions based on adherence to rules/regulations and avoidance of punishment to acceptance of universal principles of justice and respect for human life.
As I said in Part I of this blog series, one of the first acts of a new or transferred teacher upon being hired to a specific school district is to visit the website of his/her state’s education department, and make a thorough search on the topic of “code of ethics” or “code of conduct.” There is no defense for ignorance of the codes and statutes relevant to the state you are/will be employed.
In addition, in almost every state education system, there are “mandatory reporting” regulations. Teachers are held responsible to ensure that their colleagues conform to the appropriate standards of ethical practice as well. In other words, if you know something is wrong and you do not report it to an administrator, you could also be liable and subject to hearings, discipline, and even prosecutions for negligence of your duty to protect the best interests, health, and safety of the student(s) involved.
A sense of invulnerability
It is the responsibility of the teacher to control his or her “public brand” – how he or she wants to be perceived by students, parents, colleagues, and the public. One’s public brand can and does impact perceptions, which in turn can impinge upon effectiveness.
However, the disclaimer is that I am not an attorney, human resource manager, nor scholar on school ethics, nor was I ever trained in a single workshop, college class, teacher induction or in-service program on this subject. After reading this article, you should immediately visit the website of your state’s education department, and search on the topic of “code of ethics” or “code of conduct.” A few examples of the “real deal” are listed below, and yes, you must study “every word of” the entire document and applicable rules from the state you are/will be employed.
According to Snopes 
Achievement of higher education, constant training and retooling, specific goals, and self-improvement
a “violation of ethics” is usually associated with significant consequences or punishment, like charges of medical malpractice or lawyers facing an “ethics committee” hearing. Confirmed unethical behavior may result in censure, suspension of license or certification, or other discipline action. Most state education governing entities post legally-binding “educator discipline acts” or codes of professional standards, ethics, and/or behavior, with extensive penalties.
defines misconducts.
One of the best examples endorsed by many states, college education methods programs, and other institutions, the National Association of State Directors of Teacher Education and Certification has published its 
paulfox.blog 