Estate Planning: Final Instructions

The Elephant in the Room: How to Prepare Your Family for “The End”

Expanded from the October 3, 2019 article in PMEA Retired Member Network eNEWS.

 

Few people want to talk about it… what co-authors Shoshana Berger and BJ Miller discuss in their book, A Beginner’s Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death:

It may sound morbid, but creating a findable file, binder, cloud-based drive, or even shoe-box where you store estate documents and meaningful personal effects will save your loved ones incalculable time, money, and suffering. “Why You Need to Make a ‘When I Die’ File – Before It Is Too Late” (Berger and Miller)

Do you have a Will? A Power of Attorney? A Living Will or Medical Power of Attorney?

According to their TIME blogpost at https://time.com/5640494/why-you-need-to-make-a-when-i-die-file-before-its-too-late/?utm_source=pocket-newtab, here are a few things you will want to put into your “When I Die” file/folder:

  • An advance directive that is signed and notarized
  • A will* and living trust
  • Marriage or divorce certificates
  • Passwords for phone, computer, email, and social media accounts
  • Instructions for your funeral and final disposition
  • An ethical will*
  • Letters to loved ones

hand-229777_1920_geralt.jpg

* Where a legal will transfers assets, an ethical will transfers immaterial things: your life lessons and values. For a discussion on the latter, seek out the book Ethical Wills: Putting Your Values on Paper by Dr. Barry Baines.

Berger and Miller also recommended to purchase and set-up an online password manager to safeguard your data and share the master password with someone you trust. (For more info on password management software, read my “tech rant” blog here.)

With greater detail, we also learn from https://www.wealthmanagement.com/news/final-letter-instructions-family-important the importance of leaving a “final letter of instructions” to your loved ones. The website reports what Neuberger Berman Trust Company advises should be archived in a document to be read after your death.

  • The location of all estate planning documents, such as wills and trust agreements
  • A list of relevant advisors with contact information
  • List of other people to contact on your death
  • Location of any safe deposit boxes, inventory list, location of keys, who is authorized to open
  • List of life insurance policies, location and beneficiaries
  • List of bank accounts and how they are titled
  • Investment and trust account information
  • A description of other assets
  • Any debts or other liabilities
  • Listing of all credit card accounts
  • Inventory of other important documents like deeds and titles, and where they are held
  • Location of keys to all residences
  • Description of any pension benefits and who to contact
  • Instructions concerning funeral or memorial services

They add that this document should be held by your attorney, spouse, and adult children.

notebook-3397136_1920_Monfocus

What would you say to those nearest and dearest to you if you couldn’t (or didn’t) tell them in person? Consider writing individual letters to your partner, children, or other family members “as a way of leaving a few last words.” Check out Frish Brandt’s inspiring website, “Last[ing] Letters.”

A Lasting Letter is a letter written to someone you care about, someone who you wish to hear your voice and read your words long into the future. Sometimes referred to as a ‘legacy letter,’ this letter holds the words that carry one’s voice forward in time.

The letter can take many forms: long or short, a memento of a moment or a history of a lifetime, a connection made or missed, an instruction or a confession, a love letter, and everything in between. 

Each letter is ​unique: each voice, each intention is ​individual.

Everyone has a letter in them​.https://www.mylastingletters.com/ (Brandt)

Finally, in their July 25, 2019 YouTube video recorded at the Commonwealth Club (https://www.commonwealthclub.org/events/archive/video/beginners-guide-end-life), Berger quoted the framework by Ira Byock “The Four Things That Matter Most… to say to someone before you die” (yet another book): https://irabyock.org/books/the-four-things-that-matter-most/:

  • “Please forgive me.”
  • “I forgive you.”
  • “Thank you.”
  • “I love you.”

And one more that was added later: “I am proud of you.”

PKF

puzzle-1721592_1920_PIRO4D

 

Photo credits in order from Pixabay.com:

 

Collegiates – Clean Up Your Social Media

banner-935469_1920_geralt

Getting Ready to Apply for a Job? It’s Time to Curate Your Social Media!

[Portions of this blog-post were first published in the January 31, 2019 issue of the Collegiate Communique sponsored by the PMEA State Council for Teacher Training, Recruitment, and Retention.]

 

Have you ever gone on the Internet and searched for your name? Have you assessed tree-1148032_1920_geraltwhat your image (and “personal brand”) say about you on all the social media platforms?

According to a McAfee family safety blog, in anticipation of future employers researching you and everything with your name on it, you should make a concerted effort to “launder” your online presence.

People are watching you right now. Like it or not — agree with the intrusion or not — you are being Googled, judged, and analyzed by the body of content you’ve posted online. Whether you are applying to a college, for a summer job, or even currently employed, you can bet someone who matters to your future is on your digital trail.

 “10 Easy Ways to Clean Up & Curate Your Social Media” by Toni Birdsong

 

laptop-3087585_1920_jeshoots-com_

Also recommended by Birdsong, the new “best practice” is to A) clean up any questionable content from all social profiles and B) design your social content in a way that “reflects your best self.” This means you should delete permanently from Facebook and other platforms:

  • Provocative or inappropriate photographs, videos, or posts
  • Posts or photos that include drinking or using drugs
  • Discriminatory comments related to race, religion, gender, etc.
  • Content that complains about a previous employer or colleague
  • Posts that are overly cynical, grumpy, or mean

notebook-614213_1920_firmbeeInstead, your profile information should reflect integrity and responsibility, so you should expand or add content that:

  • Projects a professional image
  • Shows a friendly, positive personality
  • Demonstrates that you are well-rounded, with wide range of interests
  • Models that you have great communication skills

Think the whole “future employers checking your social media accounts” thing is just an annoying urban legend? Think again.

It turns out that one in three employers have rejected candidates based on something they found out about them online.

“How to Clean Up Your Social Media During the Job Search” by Lily Herman

personal-3139194_1920_geralt

The McAfee blog really does a good job summing up ten steps to a better online presence:

  1. Make a hit list
  2. Think like the decision maker.
  3. career-3478983_1920_mohamed_hassanStreamline your selfies.
  4. Review past blogs.
  5. Google yourself.
  6. Inventory all social profiles.
  7. Edit your Twitter feed.
  8. Secure names and URLs.
  9. Change your online persona – for good.
  10. Start a career-focused Blog.

There are many samples for that last tip, my favorite from a former student of mine freely sharing his professional website at daviddockan.com. (Use “Music” for the password.) David included his resume, philosophy of music education, employment history, and photo/video samples of his teaching… a very powerful digital portfolio and marketing/branding technique… and of course, he landed his first music teacher job immediately after graduating from West Virginia University!

online-3412473_1920_kreatikarIf you need more than ten suggestions or a lot more detailed instructions based on the specific social media platforms, check out 30 Quick Tips to Spring Clean Your Social Media Presence” by Yvonne Dutchover.

Related articles previously posted at this site:

 

Employers can learn a lot about you from your resume and interview, but sometimes it takes a little bit more to sell yourself (although there’s a delicate balance between selling yourself and being transparent in the hiring process). Take advantage of the benefits of social media – it’s an often-needed extra step to show what you bring to the table, a way to add flair to your application, and make a lasting impression on your potential employers.

– “How to Clean Up Your Social Media Presence Before the Job-Search” by Lauren McAdams

job-3790033_1920_tumisu

In short, keep it clean and professional! “Police” your social media image and brand. And, as they say, “break a leg” at your interviews! Good luck in job hunting!

PKF

© 2019 Paul K. Fox

 

Photo credits in order from Pixabay.com: “social media” by Alexas_Fotos, “banner” and “tree” by geralt, “laptop” by JESHOOTS-com, “notebook” by FirmBee, “personal” by geralt, “career” by mohamed_hassan, “online” by kreatikar, and “job” by Tumisu.